Clients Jokes

You get to choose your clients
Hotel, etc. expenses are directly billed
You actually receive that high hourly rate clients are paying for you.
No dress code
Close client interaction at all times
You are working nights anyway
Finally a way to fit exercise into a tight schedule
Continual feedback - every two hours or so
Not tied down working with a team (unless you want to be)
Either way you are still getting screwed

When a lawyer tells his clients he has a sliding fee schedule what he means is that after he bills you it's financially hard to get back on your feet.

Drug Dealers
Software Developers
Refer to their clients as "users".
Refer to their clients as "users".
"The first one's free!"
"Download a free trial version..."
Have important Asian connections.
Have important Asian connections.
Strange jargon:
"Stick"
"Rock"
"Wrap"
"E"
"Stash"
"Drive-by"
"Hit (LSD)"
"Source"
"The Pigs"
Strange jargon:
"SCSI"
"RTFM"
"Packet"
"C"
"Cache"
"CTRL ALT DEL"
"Hit (WWW)"
"Source-code"
"Microsoft"
Realise that there's tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market.
Realise that there's tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market.
Clients really like your stuff when it works. When it doesn't work they
want to kill more...

Why does the Law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service!

What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer? A tick falls off you when you die!

What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead lawyer on the road? There are skid marks in front of the dog!

What is black & brown and looks good on a lawyer? A Doberman.

What do lawyers and sperm have in common? One in 3, 000, 000 has a chance of becoming human.

Lawyer's creed: A man is innocent until proven broke.

You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets, what should you do? Shoot the lawyer, twice! !

What do you get when you cross a crooked lawyer with a sleazy politician? Chelsea Clinton.

It was so cold around here last winter, (how cold was it?) I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own more...

An American businessman was in Japan. He hired a local hooker and was going at it all night with her. She kept screaming "Fujifoo, Fugifoo!!!", which the guy took to be pleasurable.. The next day, he was golfing with his Japanese counterparts and he got a hole-in-one. Wanting to impress the clients, he said "Fujifoo". The Japanese clients looked confused and said "No, you got the right hole."