Clinic Jokes / Recent Jokes
This doctor is considering specializing in sex disorders. He calls a local clinic and asks if he can get a tour of their facility. The Clinic Administrator tells the doctor that would be fine and to come right on over.
As they're walking through the hospital, the doctor sees this guy jerking off in the middle of the hallway. He asks the Administrator what's going on. The Administrator explains that the guy suffers from Hyper Spermatogenisis, that is, unless he gets off several times a day, his balls will explode!
A few minutes later they turn the corner and see a guy standing in the hallway getting a blow job from this beautiful nurse. The doctor inquires as to this guy's condition. The Administrator explains to the doctor that this man has the same problem as the other guy, but he as a much better health plan!
This is the story of the night my ten-year-old cat, Rudy, got his head stuck in the garbage disposal. I knew at the time that the experience would be funny if the cat survived, so let me tell you right up front that he's fine. Getting him out wasn't easy, though, and the process included numerous home remedies, a plumber, two cops, an emergency overnight veterinary clinic, a case of mistaken identity, five hours of panic, and fifteen minutes of fame.
My husband, Rich, and I had just returned from a vacation in the Cayman Islands, where I had been sick as a dog the whole time, trying to convince myself that if I had to feel lousy, it was better to do it in paradise. We had arrived home at 9 p.m., a day and a half later than we had planned because of airline problems. I still had illness-related vertigo, and because of the flight delays, had not been able to prepare the class I was supposed to teach at 8:40 the next morning. I sat down at my desk to think and around ten more...
Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" "Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techiniques-visulization, association-it made a huge difference for me." "That's great! What was the name of the clinic?" Fred went blank He thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?" "You mean a rose?" "Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife..."Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"
During a visit to a military medical clinic, I was sent to the lab to have blood
drawn. The technician there was friendly and mentioned that his mood improved every day because he was due to leave the service in two months. As he applied the tourniquet on my arm, he told me that taking the blood
wouldn't hurt much. Then, noticing my Air Force T-shirt, he asked me what my husband did.When I replied that he was a recruiter, the technician smiled slyly and said, “This might hurt a little more than I thought.”
Finally admitting he was grossly overweight, this man decided it was time to take advantage of a special introductory offer from a new weight loss clinic in town. After handing over his payemnt he was shown to an empty room where he was soon joined by a gorgeous blond. "Hi," she said. "If you catch me, I'm yours."
It took a while, but after a prolonged chase he succeeded - and was delighted to find he'd lost ten pounds in the process. After that he gave up all ideas of dieting and managed to drop ten more pounds with a brunette and eight with a redhead. But he was still fifty pounds overweight, so he decided to sign up for the clinic's more drastic program. He was waiting eagerly in an empty room when the door opened and in came a three-hundred pound gay guy who grinned and said, "If I catch you, you're mine."