Clinic Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" "Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techiniques - visualization, association - it made a huge difference for me." "That`s great! What was the name of the clinic?" Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn`t remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that red flower with the long stem and thorns?" "You mean a rose?" "Yes, that`s it!" He turned to his wife.. . "Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" "Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techiniques-visulization, association-it made a huge difference for me." "That's great! What was the name of the clinic?" Fred went blank He thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?" "You mean a rose?" "Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife.. . "Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"

Doctor: Ram, You Need Glasses. Ram: How Did You Know That Without Examining Me? Doctor: I Knew It As Soon As You Came In Through The Window Of My Clinic

E-mail Joke Quickly Ends Reporter's Job
By Howard Kurtz of the "Washington Post"
When Joe Rhodes, journalist and self-described "smart aleck," showed up at the Portland Oregonian last fall, he was asked to familiarize himself with the computer system.
The reporter, who had moved from Los Angeles to take a feature-writing job, sat down and composed a mock memo: "In an effort to make everyone at the New Oregonian feel more comfortable, members of the New Northwest team have chosen Thursdays as 'no underwear day' in the newsrooms.... All staff members will be subject to a brief inspection. Anyone found to be wearing undergarments will be severely reprimanded and forced to wear a sweater vest the following Monday. Exceptions will be made for those staff members with hernias, testicular cancer or radical mastectomies."
Rhodes then pressed a button to send the message to a friend. The message was inadvertently sent to everyone in the newsroom. more...

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"

"Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques - visualization, association - it made a huge difference for me."

"That''s great! What was the name of the clinic?"

Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn''t remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that red flower with the iong stem and thorns?"

"You mean a rose?"

"Yes, that''s it!" He turned to his wife... "Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"

Source: United Press International

Infertile Couple Decides To Try Sex

LONDON (United Press International via COMTEX) -- A German husband and wife were sent to sex therapy after admitting to doctors at a fertility clinic that they had never made love.

The husband, 36, and his wife, 32, thought all they had to do to make a baby was to lie next to each other and something would happen, the Mirror reported Tuesday.

When nothing besides sleep happened, they saved $12, 460 and went to an in-vitro fertilization clinic
at the University of Luebeck in Germany.

"We're not talking about retards here, but a couple who were brought up in a strict religious environment who simply did not know how babies were created," said a clinic spokesman.

"It was only after they were subjected to a battery of tests and both were found to be perfectly fertile that we asked them how often they had sex.

"The more...

During a visit to a military medical clinic, I was sent to the
lab to have blood drawn. The technician there was friendly
and mentioned that his mood improved every day because
he was due to leave the service in two months.
As he applied the tourniquet on my arm, he told me that
taking the blood wouldn't hurt much. Then, noticing my Air
Force T-shirt he asked me what my husband did.
When I replied that he was a recruiter, the technician
smiled slyly and said, "This might hurt a little more than I
thought."