Clinton Jokes / Recent Jokes

It was reported that Chelsea Clinton was barred from voting last Tuesday because her name had been left out of the voting station’s registration book, proving once and for all that Chelsea Clinton is black.

The other day President Clinton was walking around the White
House all morning with a pair of ladies panties on his arm.
Everyone was looking at him and wondering what he was doing
now but no one had the courage to say anything.
At 1200 hours the President's Marine Aide de Camp relieved his
Air Force counterpart who whispered what he'd seen in the Marine Major's ear.
Being a confident and tactfully articulate Officer and a
Gentleman, the Marine Major purposefully strode into the Oval
Office, positioned himself centered and 3 paces in front of the
President's desk and politely inquired what he was doing with
the pair of ladies panties on his arm.
President Clinton replied: "It's the patch, I'm trying to quit."

Bill Clinton and the Pope both died on the same day. Due to a minor clerical error, the Pope went to Hell, while Clinton went to Heaven. When the Pope arrived in Hell, everyone realized the mistake. Due to an issue with the union, they couldn't swap the two until the next day, and the Pope had to spend the night in Hell, while Clinton spent the night in Heaven.The next day the paperwork got straighted out. On his way up to Heaven, the Pope ran into Clinton. Clinton asked the Pope "How was your night in Hell?""Very educational." responded the Pope. "I've learned a lot from the experience, but now I'm glad I'm going to heaven. I've been waiting all my life to meet the Virgin Mary.""Sorry," said Clinton, "You should have been there yesterday."

Q: What is Clintons plan to create thousands of small businesses? A: Take thousands of big businesses and wait four years.

What is Clinton's new Secret Service Code Name?
Unibanger.

Bill Clinton was arriving back to the White House from a trip to Arkansas with a pig under each arm. A secret serviceman greeted him.
"Nice pigs, sir!"
"Thank you. Though these are no ordinary pigs -- they're Arkansas Razorbacks! I got one for Hillary and one for Chelsea."
"Nice trade, sir!"

Bill Clinton calls his secretary in to his office and says, "Would you like to see my clock?" His secretary looks confused and says,
"What?"
"C'mon," says Bill, "it's a yes or no question."
Okay?" says the secretary. Bill then yanks his pants down, exposing his knob.
"That isn't a clock," says his secretary,"it's a cock."
To which Bill replies, "Put a face and two hands on it and it's a clock."