Monica Jokes

How do you know Monica Lewinsky is Jewish? If she wasn't, she wouldn't have stained her dress.

AP - Monica Lewinsky, in a statement released today, countered President Clinton's firm denial:
"I have had enough. This whole experience has left a bitter taste in my mouth, and I can't stomach any more. I feel as if I am getting the shaft, that this ugly matter has come to a head and blown up in my face."
"This may be a load to handle, but when things are hard, that is when I am at my best. I have faced hard things in the past, and I know what is coming. I will meet this challenge the only way that I know how: head on."
"I have licked bigger things than this before, and I will again. No one will ever be able to say that Monica Lewinsky isn't a finisher, that she quit before the job was done. I will work non-stop and fight this, blow by blow, until I am wiped clean of this dirty affair. I will not be stained by it."
"Thank you." Monica Lewinsky

Why are Monica Lewinsky and a change machine alike?
They both say..."insert Bill here!"

Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and the Green Bay Packers have in common?
A: They both BLEW the BIG one.

A reporter asked Clinton one day. "Was Monica lying?"
Clinton responded by saying. "No, she was on her knees."