Closes Jokes

I wonder who closes the door after the bus driver gets out.

There's a woman in a hospital in a coma. Her nurse notices after a few days that every time she sponge bathes the woman around the crotch, her vital signs, according to the nearby monitor, increase significantly. The nurse gets the bright idea that oral sex might just provide the stimulus to bring the woman out of her coma. She calls the woman's husband, tells him her idea about oral sex, and he agrees. When he arrives at the hospital, the nurse ushers him into the room, closes the curtain around the bed, and closes the door. Five minutes later, the man comes running out of the room screaming that all of his wife's vital signs have plummeted to zero and she needs a doctor immediately.
The nurse, upset that her idea had not only not worked, but seemed to be threatening the life of the woman she had sought to save, asked the man what had happened.
"I'm not sure, but I think she choked".

One day, a man goes to a hotel. There is only one room left; room #30. Wondering what was the problem with that room, he agrees to use that room and is shown the room. He is left with a warning: To never look under the rug.
That night, he can't sleep. He's wondering what's under the rug. So he gets up, and peeks under the rug.
It's a trapdoor. "OK, I can live with that," he says to himself, and goes to bed.
The next night, he can't sleep. He's wondering what's under the trapdoor. So he gets up, removes the rug, and opens the trapdoor.
He sees a really, really long staircase. "OK, I can
live with that," he says to himself, closes the trapdoor, replaces the rug, and goes to bed.
The next night, he can't sleep. He's wondering what's after the staircase. So he gets up, removes the rug, opens the trapdoor, and climbs down the staircase for days and days and days.
He sees a long hallway. "OK, I can live with that," he says to more...

A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a lawyer are in a train.

The Russian opens his pack and removes a bottle of vodka. He says to the others, "In Russia, we have the best vodka in the world. So vast are the quantities of superior vodka that we make in Russia, that we can just throw it away." After this, he stands, opens the window, and throws the bottle through it. He closes the window. Everyone else is visibly impressed.

After a moment, the Cuban takes out a pack of cigars. He removes one, lights it, blows a ring of smoke and says, "Well, in Cuba we don't concern ourselves too much with vodka. We make the best cigars in the whole world. We have so many great cigars, we can just throw them away." And he gets up, takes his entire box of cigars, and throws it out the window, and closes the window again.

The American stands, without a word, opens the window and throws the lawyer through it.

A bartender was working the late shift. While he was working, a beautiful blonde woman walked in and took a seat at the bar. She ordered up a Coors and sat there drinking for a while. Suddenly, the woman passed out cold on the stool. The bartender had a sudden thought, and so he cautiously looked around. Seeing that no one was around, he closed up the bar, and took advantage of the situation.
The next night, the bartender was, again, working the late shift, but some of his friends stopped by, so he told them about the previous night and his good time with the blonde woman. All of a sudden, the blonde walks in again. The bartender motions to his friends that she is the same lady. The lady sits down at the bar and orders another Coors. Eventually, she passes out. The bartender closes up shop, and him and all his friends take their turns.
The next night, the bartender is working the late shift. His friends show up, with all of their friends, and so there is a huge crowd in the more...