Cloud Jokes / Recent Jokes
*Question: What is one horsepower?*Answer: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second. * You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind. * Talc is found on rocks and on babies. * The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down. * When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when theybroke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions. * When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we saythey are orbiting. * Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand. * While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really onlycentrificating. * Someday we may discover how to make magnets that can point in any direction. * South America has cold summers and hot winters, but somehow they still manage. * Most books now say our more...
An Indian walks into a trading post and asks for toilet paper. The clerk asks if he would like no name, Charmin, or White Cloud. "White Cloud sounds like good Indian toilet paper," says the Indian. "How much is it?" "$1. 00 a roll," the clerk replies. "That seems pretty expensive," responds the Indian. "What about the others?" "Charmin is $2. 00 a roll, and no name is 50 cents a roll." The Indian doesn't have much money, so he opts for the no name. Within a few hours, he is back at the trading post. "I have a name for the no name toilet paper," he announces to the clerk. "We shall call it John Wayne." "Why?" asks the confused clerk. "Cause it's rough and it's tough and it don't take no crap off an Indian."
Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, “Well Bill, I’m really confused on this one. It’s a tough decision; I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows ‘95 among other indiscretions. I believe I’ll do something I’ve never done before; I’ll let you decide where you want to go. ”
Bill pushed up his glasses, looked up at God and replied, “Could you briefly explain the difference between the two? ” Looking slightly puzzled, God said, “Better yet, why don’t I let you visit both places briefly, then you can make your decision. Which do you choose to see first, Heaven or Hell? ”
Bill played with his pocket protector for a moment, then looked back at God and said, “I think I’ll try Hell first. ” So, with a flash of lightning and a cloud of more...
What did the rain cloud wear under his rain coat? Answer: Thunder wear!
Joe and his two friends freinds accidentally die in a car wreck and go to Heaven. They see and angel and she tells them that they can do anything they want but warns them not to step on the pink clouds.
So one day, one of Joe's friends goes and steps on the pink cloud, and a really ugly gal pops up and says, "I have to follow you for the rest of eternity."
Joe's other friend, assuming that the ugly gal is out of the way, steps on a pink cloud, and once again a really ugly gal pops up and tells him you have she has to follow him for the rest of eternity.
One day, Joe's two freinds are walking around and they see you with a really hot gal, so they run up to you and the say, "Hey man! How did you get this really hot gal?"
She turns around and says, "I stepped on a pink cloud."
Jack was walking around when he noticed a ladder that went up into the clouds. After climbing the first cloud he met a stinky, unattractive woman who said, "Have sex with me or climb the ladder to success."
Jack chose to climb the ladder.
At the next cloud he met a slightly better looking woman who said, "Have sex with me or climb the ladder to success." Figuring it only gets better, Jack chose to climb the ladder some more.
At the next cloud, he met a very attractive woman who said, "Have sex with me or climb the ladder to success." Things were getting better the higher he got, so Jack chose to climb the ladder even more.
At the fourth cloud, he met the most gorgeous woman to ever grace the Universe. She looked at him seductively and begged, "Have sex with me or climb the ladder to success." Jack was extremely tempted to satisfy his urges but still, he climbed the ladder to success.
At the fifth cloud, Jack was startled when more...