"Important thoughts" joke
*Question: What is one horsepower?*Answer: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second. * You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind. * Talc is found on rocks and on babies. * The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down. * When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when theybroke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions. * When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we saythey are orbiting. * Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand. * While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really onlycentrificating. * Someday we may discover how to make magnets that can point in any direction. * South America has cold summers and hot winters, but somehow they still manage. * Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in thedaytime. * Water freezes at 32 degrees and boils at 212 degrees. There are 180 degrees between freezingand boiling because there are 180 degrees between north and south. * A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go. * There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered. Finding them all means living forever. * There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because of so muchpopulation stomping around up there these days. * Lime is a green-tasting rock. * Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil. * Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don't why you should. * Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there. * Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make water, so sometimes it's brotheragainst brother. * Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make outthe numbers. * We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot ofthings people forget to put the top on. * To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up. * In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find there are twice as many H's as O's. * Clouds are high flying fogs. * I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing. * Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is not much else to do. * Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a drop, it does. * Humidity is the experience of looking for air and finding water. * We keep track of the humidity in the air so we won't drown when we breathe. * Rain is often known as soft water, oppositely known as hail. * Rain is saved up in cloud banks. * In some rocks you can find the fossil footprints of fishes. * Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dogs tongue will kill the strongest man. * A blizzard is when it snows sideways. * A hurricane is a breeze of a bigly size. * A monsoon is a French gentleman. * Thunder is a rich source of loudness. * Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound. * It is so hot in some places that the people there have to live in other places. * The wind is like the air, only pushier.