Sun Jokes

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, all working for NASA, were trying to figure out where to go on the next trip. The brunette said, "We should go to Mars." The redhead said, "We should go to the Moon." The brunette and the redhead sat there arguing for a while. Suddenly, the blonde shouts, "Stop arguing! I know where the next expedition should be to. .. the Sun!" The brunette and the redhead looked at each other and started laughing. The brunette finally said, "You can't go to the Sun. You would melt or burn up before you even got close!" The blonde said, "DUH... Not if you go at night!"

You might be from the Northwest if you:
Feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.

Use the expression "sun break" and know what it means.

Know more than 10 ways to order coffee (and know different parts of town by the espresso joints).

Know more people who own boats than air conditioners.

Feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.

Stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" signal.

Consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it's not a real mountain.

Complain about Californians, as you sell one your house for twice its value.

Can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best Coffee, and Veneto's.

Know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon.

Know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, and Willamette.

Consider swimming an indoor more...

A successful, wealthy, bigshot city lawyer and a redneck got into a car wreck on a hot summer day. The lawyer got out of his BMW and the redneck got out of his pickup to survey the damage, and the redneck realized he was at fault...
"YOU STUPID HICK!" shouted the lawyer, looking with contemt at the redneck in his dirty overalls.
After looking over the handsome, impeccably dressed and dignified city lawyer in his $2, 000 navy blue pinstriped suit, carefully knotted red silk tie, starched white shirt, silver cufflinks and black dress shoes polished like mirrors, $1, 000 briefcase and hundred dollar haircut, the redneck walked back to his car, got out a bottle, and brought it back.
He handed it to the lawyer, and said, "Here, you look pretty shook up. I think you ought to take a nip of this. It'll steady your nerves.... IT'S HOMEMADE..."
The lawyer did, but was so angry about the wreck, he refused to speak. The redneck then said, "You still more...

Microsoft Patents Ones, Zeroes
REDMOND, WA - In what CEO Bill Gates called "an unfortunate but necessary step to protect our intellectual property from theft and exploitation by competitors," the Microsoft Corporation patented the numbers one and zero Monday.
With the patent, Microsoft's rivals are prohibited from manufacturing or selling products containing zeroes and ones--the mathematical building blocks of all computer languages and programs--unless a royalty fee of 10 cents per digit used is paid to the software giant.
"Microsoft has been using the binary system of ones and zeroes ever since its inception in 1975," Gates told reporters. "For years, in the interest of the overall health of the computer industry, we permitted the free and unfettered use of our proprietary numeric systems. However, changing marketplace conditions and the increasingly predatory practices of certain competitors now leave us with no choice but to seek more...

God created the donkey and told him: you will work tireless from sun up to sun down, carrying heavy bags on your back, you'll eat grass, you will not have intelligence and you will live 50 years. You will be a DONKEY!

The donkey answered: I'll be a donkey, but living 50 years is too much, give me only 20 years. And God gave him 20 years.

God created the dog and told him: You will look after the man's house, you will be his best friend, you will eat whatever they give you and you will live 25 years. You will be a DOG!

The dog answered: God, living 25 years is too much, give only 10. God gave him 10 years.

God created the monkey and told him: You will jump from branch to branch, you will do silly things, you will be amusing and you will live 20 years.

The monkey answered: God, living 20 years is too much, give me only 10 years. And God agreed.

Finally, God created man, and told him: You will be Man, the only rational more...