Coat Jokes / Recent Jokes

A guy comes home after losing a lot of money, playing golf.
A few minutes later his wife comes home from work with a new fur coat.
Her husband says "Hey how did you get this?" She says that her boss won the lotto and this is her share. This happens a few times, first the coat and then a car and then jewelry etc. One night the wife gets home really tired out and asks her husband to run her bath, which he then does. But only fills it up an inch.
She gets in and says to him "Why did you put in so little water?"
"Well, WE DON'T WANT YOUR LOTTO TICKET GETTING WET NOW DO WE?!"

Three members of a weekly female bridge quartet were duly impressed when the fourth arrived wearing an incredibly gorgeous new mink coat.
"That's a stunning garment, Louise," one woman purred. "It must have cost you a fortune!"
"No, not at all," Louise replied, "just a single piece of ass."
"You mean," the admirer of the coat continued, "one that you gave your husband?"
"No," grinned Louise, "one that he got from the maid."

A mother and a daughter are shopping in the mall, when the mother eyes an expensive fur coat. "This year," she says, "I think that I will buy my present instead of making you and dad shop for me." The daughter nods in agreement. "And I think this fur coat would be perfect too."
The daughter protests, "But mom, some helpless, poor creature has to suffer so that you can have this."
"Don't worry honey," says the mother, "your father won't get the bill for a couple of weeks."

A mangy looking guy goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "No way, pal. I don't think you can pay for it."
"You're right, " the guy says, "I don't have any money, but if I show you something you haven't seen before will you give me a drink?"
"You have a deal my friend," says the bartender.
The guy reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He puts the hamster on the bar, it runs to the end of the bar, down the side of the bar, across the room, up the piano, onto the keyboard and starts playing Gerswhin.
"You're right I haven't heard anyting like that before," says the bartender. "The hamster is really gifted."
The guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for another. "Will that be cash or another miracle, pal?" asks the bartender.
"Watch this," replies the guy.
Again, he reaches into his coat and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog onto the more...

Sam and a beautiful woman walk into a very posh Beverly Hills furrier. "Show
the lady your finest mink!" the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes
in back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat.

As the lady tries it on, the furrier discreetly whispers to the man, "Ah, sir
that particular fur goes for $65,000." "No problem! I'll write you a check!"
"Very good, sir." says the shop owner. "Today is Saturday. You may come by on
Monday to pick it up, after your check has cleared."

So Sam and the woman leave. On Monday, the Morris returns. The store owner is
outraged: "How dare you show your face in here? There wasn't a single penny in
your checking account!"

"I just had to come by," grinned Sam, "to thank you for the most wonderful
weekend of my life!"

If you found a five dollar bill in every pocket of your coat, what would you have? Someone elses coat.

A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She's laid on a trolley bed by a lady in a white dress and brought to the corridor.
Before they enter the room she leaves her behind the theatre door to go in and check whether everything is ready.
A young man wearing a white coat approaches, takes the sheet away and starts examining her naked body. He walks away and talks to another man in a white coat. The second man comes over and does the same examinations.
When a third man starts examining her body so closely, she grows impatient and says: "All these examinations are fine and appreciated, but when are you going to start the operation?"
The man in the white coat shrugged his shoulders: "I have no idea. We're just painting the corridor."