Coat Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two Poles go for a drive in the country, when one had to answer nature`s call. They stop at a road side outhouse, and on of them goes in first. About ten minutes later, he`s still in there, so his friend goes to look for him. "Stan, are you OK?, yells the friend. The friend opens the door and there`s Stan poking around the hole in the ground with along stick. He tells his friend that he dropped his coat down the hole. His friend tells him to forget about the coat. "It`s not the coat," said Stan, "It`s the sandwich in the pocket?"

There were three men drinking at Pete's Bar

A Doctor, an Attorney, and a Biker.
As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said "For Valentine's Day I'm going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring. This way if she doesn't like the fur coat, she will still love me because she got a diamond ring."

As the attorney was drinking his martini he said "For Valentine's Day I'm going to buy my wife a designer dress and a gold bracelet. This way if she doesn't like the dress she will still love me because she got the gold bracelet."

As the biker was drinking his shots of whiskey he said "For Valentine's Day I'm going to buy my wife a T-shirt and a vibrator. This way if she doesn't like the T-shirt she can go f **** herself!"

A blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes
and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her
husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is at work, she
decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next
day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at
hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of
paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in
a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat
at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies,
"Yes."
He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that
not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
He then asks her why she has a ski jacket and a fur coat on. She replies that
she was reading the more...

A mother and a daughter are shopping in the mall, when the mother eyes an expensive fur coat. "This year," she says, "I think that I will buy my present instead of making you and dad shop for me." The daughter nods in agreement. "And I think this fur coat would be perfect too." The daughter protests, "But mom, some helpless, poor creature has to suffer so that you can have this." "Don't worry honey," says the mother, "your father won't get the bill for a couple of weeks."

Watching her mother as she tried on her new mink coat, the daughter protested, "Mom, do you realize some poor, dumb beast suffered so you could have that coat?" Her mother glared back at her and said, "Don't talk about your father that way!"

A mangy looking guy goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "No way, pal. I don't think you can pay for it." "You're right, " the guy says, "I don't have any money, but if I show you something you haven't seen before will you give me a drink?""You have a deal my friend," says the bartender. The guy reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He puts the hamster on the bar, it runs to the end of the bar, down the side of the bar, across the room, up the piano, onto the keyboard and starts playing Gerswhin. "You're right I haven't heard anyting like that before," says the bartender. "The hamster is really gifted."The guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for another. "Will that be cash or another miracle, pal?" asks the bartender. "Watch this," replies the guy. Again, he reaches into his coat and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog onto the bar, and the frog starts to sing. The more...

Practical joke A friend got married and I, being the best man, decided a humorous practical joke was in order. One of the duties of the best man is to make arrangements for the pick up and return of the groom's tuxedo. After final fitting, rent an extra coat jacket that is either three or four sizes smaller or larger than the groom's. Explain to the tux shop what you're up to. Pick up the groom's fitted coat, switch with the extra rented coat, and deliver to the groom only when it becomes time to actually get dressed. The friend of mine wore a 42 long, but the one I provided was a 38 short. Talk about some serious fun! Don't reveal that you know anything as long as possible.