Coat Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man and a woman walk into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier.
"Show the lady your finest languginous chinchilla coat!" the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with an
absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. As the lady tries it on, the
furrier
sidles up to the guy and discreetly whispers, "Ah, sir, that particular
fur
goes for $65, 000."
"No problem! I'll write you a check!"
"Very good, sir." says the shop owner. "Today is Saturday. You may
come by on Monday to pick it up, after the check has cleared."
So the man and the woman leave. On Monday, the fellow returns. The
store owner is outraged: "How dare you show your face in here?!
There wasn't a single penny in your checking account!!"
"I know" grinned the man. "I just had to come by to thank you for the
most wonderful weekend of my more...
A man comes into the living room and says to his wife, "I'm going to the pub. Get your coat on."
His wife replies, "You mean you're taking me with you for once?"
The man says, "No -- I'm turning the heat off."
A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two young people show up. One is a good looking guy in his mid- twenties and the other is a gorgeous blonde about the same age.
The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you both better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment - a chair, a whip, and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"
The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her, so she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body.
The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her ankles. He continues to lick her calves, kisses them, and then rests his head at her feet.
The circus owner's mouth is on the floor. He remarks, "I've never seen a display like that in my more...
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5: 30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.
He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket and a fur coat on.
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, FOR more...
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.
While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5: 30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is ok.
She replies yes. He asks what she is doing.
She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over a fur coat.
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it more...
The fur coat
David Levy and a beautiful woman walk into a very posh Hendon furrier.
"Show the lady your finest mink!" David says.
So the furrier goes into the storeroom and comes out with an absolutely stunning full-length coat. As the lady tries it on, the furrier goes over to David and discreetly whispers in his ear, "Ah, sir, that particular fur coat goes for £20,000."
"No problem! I`ll write you out a cheque."
"Very good, sir," says the furrier. "Today is Friday, you may come by on Tuesday to pick it up after the cheque has cleared."
So David and the woman leave.
On Tuesday, David returns to the shop, on his own. The furrier is outraged to see him.
"How dare you show your face in here? There wasn`t a single penny in your bank account."
"I just had to come by," grinned David, "to thank you for the most wonderful weekend of my life."
Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.