Cock Jokes / Recent Jokes
Once there was this doctor that moved out to the country to become a farmer. He said to himself, "Well, since I'm going to have a farm, I'd might as well have animals on it." So the doctor got in his truck to go looking. Along the way, he spotted a sign saying, "Cocks 4 Sale." He pulled over and asked the farmer what a cock was. "A cock is a rooster," the farmer replied. So the doctor bought a cock and put it in the back of his truck. The doctor continued on his way until he saw a sign saying, "Pullets 4 Sale." The doctor pulled over and asked the farmer what a pullet was. "A pullet is a hen," the farmer replied. "But sometimes a cock and pullet will fight, so watch out." So the doctor thanked the farmer and went on his merry way. Down the road a bit, there was another sign saying, "Asses 4 Sale." So the doctor pulled over again to ask. "An ass is a donkey," the farmer repied. "But watch out because more...
Yo momma is like a shotgun, one cock and she'll blow
Q. What is the diference between Jordan and a cockeral
A. A cockeral says cock a doodle doo and Jordan says any cock will do
A guy is in the pub toilet having a piss when the door to the bathroom opens. In walks a very large, very muscular guy. This guy proceeds to pull down his pants, revealing a very large penis.
To the man's amazement, the muscular guy growls and slams his penis into the sink attached to the wall. It shatters, spraying pieces and water everywhere. Next, the muscular man growls louder, and slams his penis into one of the stalls, making the entire thing collapse. Then he slams his penis into the wall of the room, knocking a very large hole into it.
The muscular man approaches the scared guy having a piss.
"Hey, mate, do you see this very large, very strong cock?" he asks.
"Yes," replies the guy taking a leak.
"Do you know what I am going to do with this very large, very strong cock?" the muscular man asks.
"No, I'm afraid I don't," says the first man.
"I'm going to shove it up your arse!" exclaims the muscular more...
10 Fucking Limericks
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There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose cock was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear were a cunt I would fuck it!
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There was a young man from Belgrave,
Who found a dead whore in a cave.
It must have taken pluck,
to have a cold fuck;
But think of the money he saved!
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There once was a man from Racine
who'd invented a fucking machine.
Concave or convex,
it fit either sex,
but boy, was it a bitch to keep clean.
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There was an old man of more...
The priest in a small Irish village was very fond of the chickens he kept in the hen house out behind the parish manse. He had a cock rooster and about ten hens.
One Saturday night the cock rooster went missing, and because the priest had heard that cock fights occurred in the village, he decided to question his parishioners about it at church the next morning.
At Mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anybody got a cock?"
All the men stood up.
"No, No, " he said, "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?"
All the women stood up.
"No, No", he said, "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?"
Half the women stood up.
"No, No", he said, "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen MY cock?"
All the nuns, three altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up.
A city man decides that he has had enough of urban life and wants to start a farm. He doesn't have much money, though, so he goes to see an old farmer to get his start.
"I'd like to buy a chicken and a rooster," he says.
"Well, young feller," says the farmer, "I reckon that'd be okay. But out here in the country we call' em a pullet and a cock."
"Okay then," says the guy, "I'll take a pullet and a cock."
"Hey, what about a donkey?" says the city guy.
"Well sure," says the farmer,"but out here in the country we call them asses. All I got is an stubborn old mule out back. He stops alot and he'll only go again if you scratch' im."
"That's fine," says the guy. He pays the farmer and heads off down the road. A little while later, the mule stops in the middle of the road. No matter what the guy does, he won't go. Then he remembers to scratch it, but he can't put his more...