Cock Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two Canadians get bored during a long car trip and start playing 20 questions.

The first guy thinks of a moose cock and tells the other to start guessing.

"Is it something you can eat?" his friend asks.

The first guy chuckles and replies, "I guess you could eat it, if you really wanted to."

The friend asks, "Is it a moose cock?"

Three guys were visiting England and were told they had to go to a great old pub called The Cock Inn. Each of them went off in different directions and planned to meet back at 4:00.
Two of them arrived back on time, but there was no sign of Edward. Finally, at 4:30, he showed up with the clothes ripped off him and blood pouring from his head.
Shocked by his appearance, the other two asked Edward what had happened to him.
"While I was walking down the road," Edward explained, "I noticed a man and woman behind a bush. I stopped and asked them, 'How far is The Cock Inn?'"

Cock fights How can you tell if an Irishman is present at a cock fight? He enters a duck. How can you tell if a Pole is present? He bets money on the duck. How can you tell if an Italian is present? The duck wins.

A Priest was in his room and realized that his rooster was missing. He decided to bring it up in Sunday Mass.
Right before the sermon the Priest asked, "Who has a cock?" All of the men inthe room stood up.
The Priest said, "No, No, No. Who has seen a
cock?" All of the women in the room stood up.
The Priest said, "No, No, No. Who has seen MY COCK?" All of the nuns stood up.

An Irish priest in a small village near Donegal was fond of the chickens he kept in the hen house back of the parish. He had a cock rooster and about ten hens. One Saturday night the cock rooster went missing and as that was the time he suspected cock fights occurred in the village he decided to do something about it at church the next morning.
At Mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anybody got a cock?"
Almost immediately all the men stood up.
"Dear god, NO NO,", he said. "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?"
Almost immediately all the women stood up.
"Almighty Father, NO NO,", he said. "That wasn't what I meant either. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?"
Almost immediately, half the women stood up.
"NO, NO, NO", he said. "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen my cock?"
Immediately all the Nuns stood up...

A man walks into a bar, sits down and drinks a beer. Then he drinks another beer, and another and...soon he needs to take a leak.

He's standing at the urinal in the men's room, when he looks over and notices three black men standing at the other urinals. The one in the middle has a white cock.

He zips up and, still a bit confused, goes back to the bar.

He orders another beer and thinks about what he had seen.

When the bartender hands him his beer, he leans over and whispers: "I was in the men's room and noticed three black men in there. I swear the one in the middle had a white cock!

The bartender points at three guys sitting at a table. "You mean those guys?"

"Yeah", the man says, "They're the ones."

The bartender grinned. "Those guys aren't black. They're coal miners. The one in the middle must have gone home for lunch."

A guy goes down south to be a farmer because it’s his life long dream. So he buys a piece of land and goes down there. Now all he needs are the animals. So he goes into a store and asks the clerk for a rooster to wake him up every morning.
The clerk says, “We don’t call ‘em roosters, we call ‘em cocks. ”
“Okay” the man says. “I’ll take a cock and a rabbit for the farm. ”
“We pronounce it rubbit says the clerk. ”
“Okay, I’ll take those two things and a mule to carry them home. ”
“We don’t call ‘em mules, we call ‘em asses and every time the ass stops walkin’, just scratch behind his ear. ”
So the man walks out of the store with the three animals. He’s walking home when all of a sudden the mule stops.
The man sees a lady passing by and asks, “Can you hold my cock and rubbit while I scratch my ass? ”