Cohen Jokes / Recent Jokes
The newspaper obituary operator received a phone call. The woman on the other end asked, "How much do funeral notices cost?"
"Five dollars per word, ma'am," came the response.
"Good, do you have a paper and pencil handy?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Okay, write this: 'Cohen died.' "
"I'm sorry, ma'am, I forgot to tell you there's a five-word minimum."
"Hmmph," came the reply. "You certainly did forget to tell me that." After a moment of silence, the woman continued, "Got your pencil and paper?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Okay, print this: 'Cohen died. Cadillac for sale.' "
It was a sweltering August day when the Cohen brothers entered the posh
Dearborn, Michigan, offices of Henry Ford, the car maker, "Mr. Ford,"
announced Norman Cohen, the eldest of the three.
"We have a remarkable invention that will revolutionize the automobile industry."
Ford looked skeptical, but their threat to offer it to the competition kept
his interest piqued. "We would like to demonstrate it to you in person."
After a little cajoling, they brought Mr. Ford outside and asked him to
enter a black automobile parked in front of the building.
Hyman Cohen, the middle brother, opened the door of the car. "Please step inside, Mr. Ford." "What!" shouted the tycoon, "Are you crazy?
It must be two hundred degrees in that car!" "It is," smiled the youngest
brother, Max, "but sit down Mr. Ford, and push the white button."
Intrigued, Ford pushed the button. All of a more...
Mrs. Levy has just taken little David to school when she it hits her that she forgot to give him his apple.
She spots Mrs. Cohen walking by and askes her to give the apple to the best looking boy in the class.
So Mrs. Cohen gives the Apple to her own Son.
Benny Cohen was pulled out of the ocean by a lifeguard. His wife ran over sobbing, "Benny! Benny, what happened?!"
"Madam, please don't get hysterical," said the lifeguard. "I'm just going to give your husband some artificial respiration and he'll be fine."
"What!" Mrs. Cohen yelled. "My Benny gets either real respiration or nothing."