Coleman Jokes

Reports are that Gary Coleman was involved in another skirmish and broke his hand when his punch landed on someone's shin.

Coleman moved to Wyoming and was sitting in the unemployment office applying for a job. "Have you any experience in coal mining?" asked the clerk. "Yeah, in Pennsylvania," he replied. "They're using that new safety lamp down there now, aren't they?" "Ah don't know, mister," said Coleman. "I worked on the day shift."

"And here's Moses Kiptanui, the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago." (David Coleman)

- "Its a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs" (David Coleman)

- "We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite." (Murray Walker)

- After playing Cameroon in the 1990 world cup finals: "We didn't underestimate them. They were just a lot better than we thought." (Bobby Robson)

- On the difficulties of adjusting to playing football and living in Italy: "It was like being in a foreign country." (Ian Rush)

- "I was in a no-win situation, so I'm glad that I won rather than lost." (Frank Bruno)

- "There is Brendan Foster, by himself, with 20,000 people." (David Coleman)

- "The lead car

Florida State football coach Bill Peterson: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." He also said, "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."
Mike Tyson, about writer Wallace Matthews: "He called me a rapist and a recluse. I'm not a recluse."
Weightlifting commentator Pat Glenn: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing."
Alan Minter: "There have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious."
Football coach Bill Peterson: "Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
Basketball player Jason Kidd: "We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
Soccer coach Ron Greenwood: "I don't hold water with that theory."
Baseball player Pedro Guerrero, on sportswriters: "Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean."
Tennis more...

"An inch or two either side of the post and that would have been a goal."
- Dave Bassett, Sky Sports
"Ardiles strokes the ball like it is part of his own anatomy."
- Jimmy Magee, RTE
"Gary always weighed up his options, especially when he had no choice."
- Kevin Keegan, Radio 5 live
"This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother."
- Ted Walsh ( Horse Racing Commentator)
"I would not say he ( David Ginola) is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better."
- Ron Atkinson
"He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it all over their faces."
- Ron Atkinson
"I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat."
- Ron Atkinson
"It took a lot of bottle for Tony (Adams) to own up."
- Ian Wright commenting on his teammate's alcoholism)
"I couldn't settle more...