Andrew Jokes

An Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman and a Welshman were all sitting in the pub having a beer, when the conversation ran dry.
The Englishman, trying to start it back up again, said, "Guys, I was born on the 23rd April, which is St George's Day, the Patron Saint of England, so my parents decided to call me George. What do you think of that?"
The Scotsman replied, "That's a coincidence! I was born on St Andrew's Day, our Patron Saint, so my parents called me Andrew!"
The Welshman said, "You aint going to believe this! I was born on St David's Day, so my parents called me David!"
The Englishman noticed that the Irishman was very quiet. So he turned to him and asked, "What's your story then, Pancake?"

Every once in a awhile, this couple would tell their 2 children, Scott (the older one) and Andrew that they were going to go upstairs for a bit(to do their little freaky thing).
One day Scott got curious to what they were doing up there, so the next time they said that they were going to go upstairs he very cautiously followed them.
He peeked in through the crack in the door and whispered, "Hey Andrew, come look at this. Guess what the woman who told us never to suck our thumbs is sucking?!"

Bart and Andrew were playing golf, and, teeing off, Bart sliced to the left and sent his ball flying into the rough. Going after it, he found the ball nestled in a field of buttercups. Taking out his nine-iron; Bart started thrashing away at the buttercups, looking for his ball.
Suddenly Bart heard a woman's voice behind him. "What are you doing?"
Turning, he saw a lovely young woman dressed in a flowing white gown and a wreath of red roses around her head.
Bart said, "What's it any of your business?"
The woman replied, "I'm Mother Nature, and henceforth, for what you've done to my buttercups, you will become deathly sick for a full day whenever you eat butter."
With that the woman faded into a sunbeam and vanished. Astonished, Bart stumbled from the rough to find his partner and tell him what happened. Calling for Andrew, he heard his friend reply, "I'm over here, looking for my ball."
"Where? I can't see more...

Every once in a awhile, this couple would tell their 2 children, Scott (the older one) and Andrew that they were going to go upstairs for a bit(to do their little freaky thing).One day Scott got curious to what they were doing up there, so the next time they said that they were going to go upstairs he very cautiously followed them.He peeked in through the crack in the door and whispered, "Hey Andrew, come look at this. Guess what the woman who told us never to suck our thumbs is sucking?!"

Knock Knock Who's there? Almond! Almond who? Almond the side of the law! Knock Knock Who's there? Andrew! Andrew who? Andrew a picture! Knock Knock Who's there? Andy! Andy who? Andy mosquito bit me again! Knock Knock Who's there? Astor! Astor who? Astor the ball is over!