Color Jokes / Recent Jokes
Great Reasons To Be A Guy!
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind. You can go to the bathroom without a support group. You don't have to learn to spell a new last name. You can leave the motel bed unmade. You can kill your own food. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. Wedding plans take care of themselves. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack. If you are 34 and single nobody notices. Everything on your face stays its original color. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming. Car mechanics tell you the truth. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever more...
Great Reasons To Be A Guy! Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind. You can go to the bathroom without a support group. You don't have to learn to spell a new last name. You can leave the motel bed unmade. You can kill your own food. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. Wedding plans take care of themselves. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack. If you are 34 and single nobody notices. Everything on your face stays its original color. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming. Car mechanics tell you the truth. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever more...
The teacher asked if you were on a boat with 2 m&ms a blue one and a green one which color would you eat? the blonde responded neither they have color dye on them I dont want to die.
When he says: "I'm going fishing."
It really means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously
stupid and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand,
while the fish swim by in complete safety."
When he says: "Let's take your car."
It really means: "Mine is full of beer cans, burger
wrappers and completely out of gas."
When he says: "Woman driver."
It really means: "Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate,
swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me."
When he says: "I don't care what color you paint the kitchen."
It really means: "As long
as it's not blue, green, pink, red, yellow, lavender, gray, mauve, black,
turquoise or any other color besides white."
When he says: "It's a guy thing."
It really means: "There is no rational thought pattern
connected with it, and you have no chance at all of
making it more...
Q: Whats a blondes favorite color? A: A light shade of clear.
How did Revlon come up with it's brunette hair color? By studying what oil spills did to seaweed.
A woman getting married for the fourth time visited a tailor to get a wedding dress made.
When the tailor inquired about the color, the bride to be said, 'White.'
The tailor was a bit surprised by this, and said, 'Excuse me, I don't mean to pry, but since white is the color traditionally worn by a virgin on her wedding night, I can't help wondering if you might still be a virgin? How could that be?'
The woman replied, 'I'm sorry to say, but that's the way it is. You see, my first husband was a psychologist. He just wanted to talk about it. My second husband was a gynecologist. He just wanted to look. My third husband was a stamp collector... God I miss him.'