Commercial Jokes / Recent Jokes

From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.

All workers please be advised of the following changes to the travel policy. MemorandumTo: All EmployeesFrom: HeadquartersSubject: Business Travel Policy GuidelinesDate: June 16, 2000Due to fiscal constraints, the following corporate policies are announced regarding employees on travel for official business. The purpose of these policies is to save money, thereby decreasing overhead. TransportationIf commercial transportation must be utilized, the lowest cost tickets will be purchased. Airline tickets will only be authorized for purchase in extreme circumstances and, the lowest fares will be used. If, for example, a meeting with a customer is scheduled in Seattle, but a lower fare can be obtained by traveling to Detroit, then travel to Detroit will be substituted for travel to Seattle. Bus transportation will be utilized whenever possible. Hitchhiking in lieu of commercial transport is strictly encouraged. Luminescent safety vests will be issued to all employees prior to their more...

All workers please be advised of the following changes to the travel policy.

Memorandum
To: All Employees
From: Headquarters
Subject: Business Travel Policy Guidelines
Date: June 16, 2000
Due to fiscal constraints, the following corporate policies are announced regarding employees on travel for official business. The purpose of these policies is to save money, thereby decreasing overhead.

Transportation
If commercial transportation must be utilized, the lowest cost tickets will be purchased. Airline tickets will only be authorized for purchase in extreme circumstances and, the lowest fares will be used. If, for example, a meeting with a customer is scheduled in Seattle, but a lower fare can be obtained by traveling to Detroit, then travel to Detroit will be substituted for travel to Seattle. Bus transportation will be utilized whenever possible.
Hitchhiking in lieu of commercial transport is strictly encouraged. Luminescent more...

Last night Barack Obama's political commercial aired on NBC, CBS, FOX, and a few cable networks. In a counter move, tonight John McCain will appear in a commercial for Flomax.

Signs Christmas Has Become To Commercial

You don't recall that line from It's A Wonderful Life saying, "Every time a cash register rings, a customer enjoys never-before year-end savings at Try-N-Save!"

Your kid makes a fortune trading in "Elmo futures."

Salad Shooter in hand, Michael Jordan shows up as the honorary "4th wise man" in new nativity scenes.

The impossible-to-get "Tickle Me Jesus"

Santa's Coyote/Ford-powered sleigh came in second in this year's Indy 500.

Wise Men now arrive carrying Faux Gold, The Clapper and a Chia Pet.

WWF presents "Oh, Holy Night" Cage Match pitting The Three Wise Men against Jumping Joseph, Manic Mary and the Dangerous Manger Boy!

Santa goes to Yankees in blockbuster trade for the slightly heavier Cecil Fielder.

Rudolph demands Holiday Pay or he walks.

Santa's North Pole operation announces a more...

All workers please be advised of the following changes to the travel policy.
Memorandum
To: All Employees
From: Headquarters
Subject: Business Travel Policy Guidelines
Date: June 16, 2000
Due to fiscal constraints, the following corporate policies are announced regarding employees on travel for official business. The purpose of these policies is to save money, thereby decreasing overhead.
Transportation
If commercial transportation must be utilized, the lowest cost tickets will be purchased. Airline tickets will only be authorized for purchase in extreme circumstances and, the lowest fares will be used. If, for example, a meeting with a customer is scheduled in Seattle, but a lower fare can be obtained by traveling to Detroit, then travel to Detroit will be substituted for travel to Seattle. Bus transportation will be utilized whenever possible.
Hitchhiking in lieu of commercial transport is strictly encouraged. Luminescent safety vests more...

A commercial traveller was passing through a small town when he came upon a huge funeral procession. "Who died?" he asked a nearby local. "I`m not sure," replied the local, " but I think it`s the one in the coffin."