Commitment Jokes / Recent Jokes

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
...George W. Bush"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
...Governor George W. Bush"Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
...Governor George W. Bush"Mars is essentially in the same orbit...Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
...Governor George W. Bush, 8/11/94"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
...Governor George W. Bush, 9/15/95"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."
...Governor George W. Bush, 5/22/98"One word sums up more...

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
-Al Gore
"Democrats understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
- Vice President Al Gore
"Welcome to President Clinton, Mrs. Clinton, and my fellow astronauts."
-Vice President Al Gore
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, & water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
-Vice President Al Gore, 8/11/94
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
- Vice President Al Gore, 9/15/95
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."
-Vice President Al Gore, more...

Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment? A mental hospital.

A sergeant-major in the Paras was giving a lecture to some raw recruits.
''If you want to be part of this regiment,'' he shouted at them, ''then you need to have COMMITMENT! What do you need?''
''COMMITMENT, sergeant-major!'' the recruits all shouted back.
''Right, I shall now demonstrate my COMMITMENT to this regiment.''
The sergeant-major then ordered one of the men to open a nearby door. Almost as soon as the squaddie turned the handle, the door was pushed open and in slithered a ten-foot-long alligator, snarling and snapping. The sergeant-major then undid his belt and dropped his trousers. Almost as soon as he did so, the alligator ran up and sank his teeth right into the sergeant-major's love truncheon. The sergeant-major barely winced. ''This,'' he shouted. ''is what we in the Parachute Regiment call COMMITMENT!'' He weaited several seconds more to make his point and then swiftly jabbed the alligator in both eyes with his fingers.
The alligator flipped over more...

I am sad to say this is the next leader of the Free World
These are the quotes of George W. Bush JR.:
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure".
...George W. Bush, JR.
"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."
...Governor George W. Bush, JR.
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
...Governor George W. Bush, JR.
"Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
...Governor George W. Bush, JR.
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit...Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important.
We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
...Governor George W. Bush, JR., 8/11/94
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history.
But we all lived in more...

The Marine 3-star general in charge of the joint office called his entire staff in for an indoctrination meeting. When they were all inside, the general had his aide close the door and said, "If you're going to work in this office, you need to have COMMITMENT, each and every one of you. Nothing is more important."
He then said to his aide, "Let him go." The aide opened up the door to a side office, and in ran a 7-foot long alligator, snarling and snapping.
The general looked straight at his new people and said "You're each going to have to demonstrate COMMITMENT."
He then undid his belt and dropped his trousers around his knees. Immediately the alligator ran up and sunk his teeth right into the general's family jewels and held on tight. The general winced, but instantly composed himself and shouted, "This is COMMITMENT!"
He waited several seconds more, then took two of his fingers and jabbed the alligator in both eyes. The gator more...

Dubya Quotes
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
...George W. Bush
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
...Governor George W. Bush
"Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
...Governor George W. Bush
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit...Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
...Governor George W. Bush, 8/11/94
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
...Governor George W. Bush, 9/15/95
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."
...Governor George more...