Common Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q. What do a blonde and a screen door have in common?
A. The more you bang them the looser they get.
What do wives and proctologists have in common?
They always have to deal with a pain in the ass.
What's the difference between husbands and prisoners?
Prisoners complain behind bars. Husbands complain in them.
When does a man feel like watering the garden?
After having a six pack.
What's the difference between a happy marriage and a fairy tale?
Fairy tales happen at least once upon a time.
What do women and tax forms have in common?
Men love to cheat on them.
What does a married man say after sex?
Don't tell my wife.
What's the best part of marriage?
Divorce.
Why do husbands appreciate hell?
At least there, they know what they did wrong.
Remember: The Bible says to "Love thy neighbor," but make sure her husband isn't home first.
What is the most common motto for a congressman?
If they're too young to vote, fuck 'em.
By Hank Vorjes
VATICAN CITY (AP) - In a joint press conference in St. Peter's Square this morning, MICROSOFT Corp. and the Vatican announced that the Redmond software giant will acquire the Roman Catholic Church in exchange for an unspecified number of shares of MICROSOFT common stock. If the deal goes through, it will be the first time a computer software company has acquired a major world religion.
With the acquisition, Pope John Paul II will become the senior vice-president of the combined company's new Religious Software Division, while MICROSOFT senior vice-presidents Michael Maples and Steven Ballmer will be invested in the College of Cardinals, said MICROSOFT Chairman Bill Gates.
"We expect a lot of growth in the religious market in the next five to ten years," said Gates. "The combined resources of MICROSOFT and the Catholic Church will allow us to make religion easier and more fun for a broader range of people."
Through the MICROSOFT more...
Q. What do a blonde girl and a six-pack of beer have in common?
A. You can carry both with two fingers.
What is the most common educational degree in New Mexico? Kindergarten dropout.
Q. What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? A. They both have balls just for decoration.