Common Jokes / Recent Jokes
What does the school principal and a bullfrog have in common?
Both have a big head that consists mostly of mouth.
What would get your man to put down the toilet seat?
A sex-change operation.
Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
So they wouldn’t hump women’s legs at cocktail parties.
Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
They won’t stop to ask directions!
Then there was a woman who said, “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late. ”
What do you call a man who has lost 99% of his brain?
A widower.
How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?
Two ways to cross a river.
What is gross stupidity?
144 men in one room.
What is a man’s view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.
What do ceramic tile and men have in common?
If you lay them right the first time, you can walk on them for life!
How do you grow your own dope?
Plant a man.
How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote more...
1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop.
2. Introduction to Common Household Objects II: The Sponge
3. Dressing Up: Beyond the Wedding and the Funeral.
4. Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead.
5. Design Pattern or Splatter Stain on the Linoleum? - You CAN Tell the Difference!
6. Accepting Loss I: If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away.
7. Accepting Loss II: If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, Keeping It In the Refrigerator Won't Bring It Back.
8. Going to the Supermarket: It's Not Just for Women Any More!
9. Recycling Skills I: Boxes that the Electronics Came In.
10. Recycling Skills II: Styrofoam that Came in the Boxes that the Electronics Came In.
11. Bathroom Etiquette I: How to Remove Beard Clippings from the Sink.
12. Bathroom Etiquette II: Let's Wash Those Towels!
13. Bathroom Etiquette III: Five Easy Ways to Tell When You're About to Run Out of Toilet Paper!
14. Giving Back to the Community: more...
A Dictionary of common dating terminology
ATTRACTION
the act of associating horniness with a particular person.
LOVE AT 1st SIGHT
what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy on people they meet.
DATING
the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.
BIRTH CONTROL
avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.
EASY
a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.
EYE CONTACT
a method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many woman have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her more...
What does a camera and a condom have in common? They both capture that magic moment.
What does a cat on the beach have in common with Christmas?
- Sandy claws
The two most common things in the Universe are hydrogen, and stupidity.