Community Jokes / Recent Jokes

There is this good ol' barber in some city in US. One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies, "I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you. I am doing a community service."
The florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a "Thank You" card and a dozen roses waiting at his doorstep. A cop goes for a haircut next and when he goes to pay the barber, the latter replies, "I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you. I am doing a community service."
The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a "Thank You" card and a dozen donuts waiting at his doorstep. An Indian software engineer goes for a haircut after that and while paying, the barber tells him, "I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you. I am doing a community service."
The next morning, when more...

A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older gent suggested the young one accompany him on his rounds so the community could become used to a new doctor.

At the first house a woman complained, "I've been a little sick to my stomach." The older doctor said, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why not cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the trick?"

As they left the younger man said, "You didn't even examine that woman. How'd you come to your diagnosis so quickly?"

"I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash. That was what was probably making her sick."

"Huh," the younger doctor said, "Pretty clever. I think I'll try that at the next house."

Arriving at the next more...

There was this good samaritan barber in a city in the US. One day a florist went to him for a haircut. After the haircut when he wanted to pay, the barber replied,' Thank you, but I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a community service.'
The florist was pleasantly surprised and went back happy. The next morning when the barber opened the shop, there was a thank you card with a dozen roses waiting at his door.
Next day, a cop went for a haircut and he also got the same reply from the barber,' I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a community service.'
The cop was happy and left the shop. When the barber reached his shop the next morning, there was a thank you note and a dozen cookies waiting for him.
An Indian software engineer went for a haircut and when he wanted to pay the barber, he too got the same reply,' I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a community service.'
The next morning when the barber went to open his more...

A protestant moved into a completely Catholic community. Being good Catholics they welcomed him into their community. But, also because they were good Catholics they did not eat red meat on Fridays. So, when their neighbor began barbequeing some juicy steak on Friday night, they began to squirm. They were so annoyed that they went to talk to him about it. After much talk they conviced him to become Catholic. The next Sunday he went to the priest and the priest sprinkled holy water on him and said: You were born Protestant. You were raised Protestant. But now you are Catholic! And so, the next Friday, as the neighbors sat down to eat their fish, they were disturbed by the smell of roast beef coming from the neighboring house. They went over to talk to the new Catholic because he knew he was not supposed to eat beef on Fridays. When they saw him, he was sprinkling ketchup on the beef saying: You were born a cow. You were raised a cow. But now you are fish!

The Rabbi rose with a red face..."Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the K. K. K. This is a horrible lie and one which a Jewish community cannot tolerate! I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and our Jewish community." No one moved. The Rabbi continued, "Do you not have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel relief. Now stand and confess your transgression!"Again all was quiet. Slowly a "drop dead" gorgeous blonde with a body that would not stop rose in the third pew. Her head was bowed, and her voice quivered as she spoke." Rabbi, there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Klu Klux Klan... I just told a couple of friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."

Original: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. ..
Translation: Rudolph was a four-hooved ungulate, Original: Had a very shiny nose. ..
Translation: Who, incidentally, possessed a nasal appendage of a maroon lustre. Original: And if you ever saw him. ..
Translation: Consequently, if circumstances were to present themselves that he ever came into your view, Original: You would even say it glows. ..
Translation: You would most undoubtedly remark at to its illuminary qualities. Original: All of the other reindeer. ..
Translation: The multitude of other members of the population in his ecological community, Original: Used to laugh and call him names. ..
Translation: Had previously teased, chuckled boisterously, and dubbed him unspeakable pseudonyms - the objective of which was to lower his self-esteem and make him miserable. Original: They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games. ..
Translation: They also excluded him from participation in leisure more...

There once was a kind hearted barber in city in the US. He never charged anyone for his services. One day a Florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the Barber and the barber replies: `I am Sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service. ’
The Florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a Thank you Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door. A Cop goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the Barber and the barber replies: `I am Sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service.` The Cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a Thank you Card and a dozen Donuts. A Indian goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the Barber and barber replies: ` I am Sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service. ’ The Indian also leaves very happy. The next morning when the Barber goes to more...