Company Jokes / Recent Jokes

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of Texas A&M, "And what starting salary were you looking for?" The Engineer said, "In the neighbourhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, a company matching retirement fund for 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?" The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?" And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a
young engineer fresh out of MIT, "What starting salary were you looking
for?"
The engineer replied, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending
on the benefits package."
The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks
vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching
retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years
- say, a red Corvette?"
The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
The interviewer replied, "Well Yeah, but you started it."

A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant.
His friend asks, "Didn`t your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?"
The businessman replies, "That`s the accountant we`re looking for."

You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, "What's this?", you suddenly realize you just dropped the company's deposit in a mailbox and gave her your mail. As a woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, "I waited on the last fat ugly old lady. This one's your turn!" Your boss is standing behind you. And it's his wife. While your boss is at lunch, you sneak in and look at some confidential information on his computer. You spill coffee on the keyboard. It shorts out and you're the only coffee drinker there. You return from a week's vacation to find that you had scheduled *this* week as vacation, not last week. You take a "sick" day. The next morning the boss asks you, "So, how was the fishing on Rock Creek yesterday?" You wake up hung over. You have a black eye and barked knuckles. Your underwear is missing. You're in jail. Last night was the company Christmas party.

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked ayoung engineer fresh out of MIT, "What starting salary were you lookingfor?"The engineer replied, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, dependingon the benefits package."The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeksvacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matchingretirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years- say, a red Corvette?"The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replied, "Well Yeah, but you started it."

Subject: Job Interview

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young MBA fresh out of MIT,' And what starting salary were you looking for?'

The candidate said,' In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.'

The HR Person said,' Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a new company car leased every 2 years - starting with say, a red Corvette?'

The guy sat up straight and said,' Wow!!! Are you kidding?'

And the HR Person said,' Certainly...but you started it.'

MICROSOFT Bids to Acquire Catholic ChurchVATICAN CITY (AP) -- In a joint press conference in St. Peter's Square this morning, MICROSOFT Corp. and the Vatican announced that the Redmond software giant will acquire the Roman Catholic Church in exchange for an unspecified number of shares of MICROSOFT common stock. If the deal goes through, it will be the first time a computer software company has acquired a major world religion. With the acquisition, Pope John Paul II will become the senior vice-president of the combined company's new Religious Software Division, while MICROSOFT senior vice-presidents Michael Maples and Steven Ballmer will be invested in the College of Cardinals, said MICROSOFT Chairman Bill Gates."We expect a lot of growth in the religious market in the next five to ten years," said Gates. "The combined resources of MICROSOFT and the Catholic Church will allow us to make religion easier and more fun for a broader range of people."Through the more...