Condition Jokes / Recent Jokes

Garbachan singh was travelling from calcutta to bombay by a plane, there were one american, one russian, one pakistani and some other passengers. Suddenly something went wrong pilot alarmed that plane lost it's control and some of the passengers have to jump out to rescue the rest of them. Firstly the american jumped out saying "jai america" again the condition didn't change then the russian jumped out from the plane saying "jai russia". But the condition still the same. The next is garbachen's turn he hesitated for a moment and pulled out the pakistani by saying "jai india".

A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy young woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her.
The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare & walked directly towards him. Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, “I’ll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100 on one condition. ”
Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was. The young woman replied, “You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words. ”
The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket & slowly counted out five $20 bills, which he pressed into the young woman’s hand. He looked into her eyes & slowly, meaningfully said, “Paint my house! ”

The beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sight-seeingtour with a very rich African king who was a very importantclient. The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretaryis quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her,... don't reject the guy outright. So, she tries to think of a way todissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her. So, after a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will only marry youunder three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75-caratdiamond ring with a matching 200-carat diamond tiara." The African king pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says, "Noproblem!! I have. I have." Realizing her first condition was too easy the woman says to the man, "Iwant you to build me a 100-room mansion in New York. As a vacation home, Iwant a chateau built in the middle of the best wine country in France." The African king pauses for awhile. He whips more...

Dickiedoo Disease: defined as the expansion of the adominal region of the human male to the point where it eliminates the view of the male's private part from its possessor. Translated into a more commonly used phrase "His belly sticks out further than his Dickiedoo!
Also know as Abdominalius Humongus and in some cases where the male appendage is not very large, this condition is known as Male Apparatus Non-existus.

one night a man is driving in his car and hears police sirens behind him.the man knows that with his car he could never out drive the cop.so, realizing the officer looks fat and out of shape, he opens his car door and makes a run for it.
the chase goes on about 20 minutes.with the cop finally catching him in the end.
the cop, completely out of breath, tells the man that he will not bring him to the station on one condition.the man, wondering why the cop wasn't going to turn him in, asked what the condition was.the cop said he wouldn't turn him in if he would help him lose another 5 pounds.

The story takes off where Cinderella just got yelled at by her step-mother, then her fairy godmother comes to her aid. The fairy godmother says, "I can make you a new dress and give you everything you need to go to the ball... on two conditions!""Anything, " says Cinderella, "anything!""Okay the first condition is you have to wear a diaphram. The second condition is you have to be back by 2: 00 AM or else your diaphram will turn into a pumpkin," says the fairy godmother. So Cinderella goes to the ball and the fairy godmother just waits and waits and then it gets to be 2: 00AM, 3: 00, 4: 00, 5: 00 and Cinderella's still not back. Then Cinderella finally shows up and the fairy godmother is astonished as to Cinderella's appearence... no pumpkin! The godmother asks Cinderella who she was with for she had no idea of a man with such power. Then Cinderella replies, "Peter, Peter something or other?"

The beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sight-seeingtour with a very rich African king who was a very importantclient. The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretaryis quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her,...don't reject the guy outright. So, she tries to think of a way todissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her.So, after a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will only marry youunder three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75-caratdiamond ring with a matching 200-carat diamond tiara."The African king pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says, "Noproblem! I have. I have."Realizing her first condition was too easy the woman says to the man, "Iwant you to build me a 100-room mansion in New York. As a vacation home, Iwant a chateau built in the middle of the best wine country in France."The African king pauses for awhile. He whips out his more...