Conductor Jokes / Recent Jokes
There are many transmission lines that crisscross Connecticut. These are held up by transmission towers of various constructions. Those most commonly installed near urban areas are called "metal ornamental towers" (supposedly prettier than wood towers). Sometimes adventurous climb the towers in order to enjoy the view and the night air. Most stay away from the wires, and when they get bored, come back down.
Apparently, a man who was forlorn after a recent spat with his girlfriend needed some fresh air to clear his head and decided to climb a tower. He stopped for a 6 pack to help clear his thoughts, went to a tower south of Hartford, next to I-91, and climbed it. Public Service employees later pieced the story together.
The man sat there 60 feet above the highway, drank his beer and consoled his bruised ego. After 5 beers, he needed to do what people often need to do after 5 beers. It being such a long hike down, he unzipped and did his business right more...
Mororn asks the conductor " is this bus running on time" the conductor replys "no this bus runs on tire"
Three Engineers and three Managers are going to a conference and had to travel by train to get there. At the station, the three Managers bought their three tickets and watched as the three Engineers bought only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked a Manager. "Just watch and you'll see," answered an Engineer. They all board the train and the Managers took their seats and watched as all three Engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. The train departed and shortly afterward, the conductor came around collecting tickets. He knocked on the restroom door and said, "Ticket, please." The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. The conductor took it and moved on. The Managers saw all this and agreed it is quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Managers decide to copy the Engineers on the return trip and save some money (expense reports). When they got to more...
He was a mediocre conductor of a mediocre orchestra. He had been having troubles with the basses; they were the least professional of his musicians. It was the last performance of the season, Beethoven's 9th Symphony, which required extra attempt from the basses at the end.
Earlier that evening, he found the basses celebrating one of their birthdays by passing a bottle around. As he was about to cue the basses, he knocked over his music stand. The sheet music scattered. As he stood in front of his orchestra, his worst fear was realized; it was the bottom of the 9th, no score and the basses were loaded.
Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.
"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant. "Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer. They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.
Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all!) When they get to the more...
Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, each of the three lawyers buys a ticket while the three engineers buy only one ticket.
"How can the three of you travel on one ticket?" asks a lawyer.
"Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer.
Aboard the train the lawyers take their respective seats while all three engineers cram into the restroom and squeeze the door closed behind them.
When the conductor comes around collecting tickets, he knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The lawyers are impressed with this clever idea. On the way home from the conference, they decide to copy the engineers' technique. At the station, they buy a single ticket for their return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all!
"How on earth are you going more...