Conductor Jokes / Recent Jokes
Passenger: Does this bus go to London? Conductor: No. Passenger: But it says London on the front. Conductor: There's an advertisement for baked beans on the side, but we don't sell them!
(Please don't try this at home)
August, 1998, Montevideo, Uruguay
Paolo Esperanza, bass-trombonist with the Simphonica Mayor de Uruguay, in a misplaced moment of inspiration decided to make his own contribution to the cannon shots fired as part of the orchestra's performance of Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture at an outdoor children's concert. In complete seriousness he placed a large, ignited firecracker, which was equivalent in strength to a quarter stick of dynamite, into his aluminum straight mute and then stuck the mute into the bell of his quite new Yamaha in-line double-valve bass trombone.
Later, from his hospital bed he explained to a reporter through bandages on his mouth,' 'I thought that the bell of my trombone would shield me from the explosion and instead, would focus the energy of the blast outward's and away from me, propelling the mute high above the orchestra, like a rocket.''
However, Paolo was not up on his propulsion physics more...
Conductor, this bus was very slow! Oh, I expect we'll pick up speed now you're getting off!
A Sardar is travelling in a DTC bus in Delhi. It's a busy day and our Sardarji is roughing it out, standing up in the aisle and all. In his right hand is his briefcase (which appears to contain some valuables), with his left he is grabbing on to the railing for dear life.
The conductor approaches him for a ticket. The Sardar who doesn't have a free hand to pull out his wallet gives the conductor a helpless look. The conductor reaches out for the Sardar's briefcase in an effort to help him out.
"nahin! tum upar pakdo" says the Sardar clutching onto his briefcase
A Sardar stepped in bus and conductor asks him to get a ticket. He laughs and then takes a ticket for 10 rupees.
The conductor asks him why was he laughing?
Sardar answers: I made ur April fool
Conductor: How?
Sardar: Mere pass toh bus ka pass ha
A Sardar is travelling in a DTC bus in Delhi. It's a busy day and our Sardarji is roughing it out, standing up in the aisle and all. In his right hand is his briefcase (which appears to contain some valuables), with his left he is grabbing on to the railing for dear life. The conductor approaches him for a ticket. The Sardar who doesn't have a free hand to pull out his wallet gives the conductor a helpless look. The conductor reaches out for the Sardar's briefcase in an effort to help him out. "nahin! tum upar pakdo" says the Sardar clutching onto his briefcase