Conductors Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: Why are conductors hearts popular for transplants? A: Theyve had little use.
The basic training of every singer should, of course, include myriad types of practical and theoretical emphases. One important area which is often neglected, however, is the art of one-upmanship. The following rules are intended as guides to the development of habits which will promote the proper type of relationship between singer and conductor.1. Never be satisfied with the starting pitch. If the conductor uses a pitch-pipe, make known your preference for pitches from the piano and vice-versa.2. Complain about the temperature of the rehearsal room, the lighting, crowded space, and of a draft. It's best to do this when the conductor is under pressure.3. Bury your head in the music just before cues.4. Ask for a re-audition or seating change. Ask often. Give the impression you're about to quit. Let the conductor know you're there as a personal favour.5. Loudly clear your throat during pauses (tenors are trained to do this from birth). Quiet instrumental interludes are a good chance to more...
Q: What is the definition of a Soviet String Quartet? A: A Soviet Symphony Orchestra after a tour of the USA! Q: What do you do with percussionists that lose one of their drumsticks? A: Stick them up front of the group and tell them to wave their arms! Q: How many conductors does it take to change a light bulb? A: Seven. [Indignant nose upturning] Of course, I wouldn't expect you to understand.Q: Why are conductors' hearts popular for transplants? A: They've had little use.
Why are conductors' hearts coveted for transplants?
They've had so little use.
Q: How many conductors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Seven. (Indignant nose upturning) Of course, I wouldn't expect *you* to understand...
Q: Why are conductors' hearts popular for transplants? A: They've had little use.
Q: How many conductors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven. (Indignant nose upturned.) Of course, I wouldn't expect you to understand.