Confessional Jokes / Recent Jokes

Tommy goes into a confessional box and says, "Bless mefather for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."The Priest says, "Is that you, Tommy? Tommy says "Yes father, it's me."The Priest says "Who was the woman you were with?"Tommy says "I cannot tell you, father, because I don't wantto ruin her reputation."The priest asks, "Was it Brenda O'Malley?"Tommy replies "No, father."The priest asks, "Was it Fiona MacDonald?"Tommy replies "No."The priest asks, "Was it Ann Brown?"Tommy replies "No."The priest asks, "Was it Mary Elizabeth O'Shea?"Tommy replies "No, father."The priest asks, "Was it Amy Thomas?"Tommy replies "No, father."The priest asks, "Was it little Cathy Morgan?"Tommy replies "NO father! I cannot tell you."The priest finally says, "Tommy, I admire your perseverance, but you must atone for your sins. more...

Tommy goes into a confessional box and says, "Bless mefather for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."The Priest says, "Is that you, Tommy? Tommy says "Yes father, it's me."The Priest says "Who was the woman you were with?"Tommy says "I cannot tell you, father, because I don't wantto ruin her reputation."The priest asks, "Was it Brenda O'Malley?"Tommy replies "No, father."The priest asks, "Was it Fiona MacDonald?"Tommy replies "No."The priest asks, "Was it Ann Brown?"Tommy replies "No."The priest asks, "Was it Mary Elizabeth O'Shea?"Tommy replies "No, father."The priest asks, "Was it Amy Thomas?"Tommy replies "No, father."The priest asks, "Was it little Cathy Morgan?"Tommy replies "NO father! I cannot tell you."The priest finally says, "Tommy, I admire your perseverance, but you must atone for your sins. more...

A drunk stumbles into a confessional.
The priest on the other side hears someone enter but yet the man does not speak.
So the priest knocks on the wall of the confessional and hears the drunk say, "Forget it buddy, theres no toiletpaper in this one either!"

A man enters a confessional and says to the Irish Priest, "Father, it has been one month since my last confession. I've had sex with Fannie Green every week for the last month." The priest tells the sinner, "You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's." Soon, another man enters the confessional. "Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Fannie Green twice a week for the last two months." This time the priest asks, "Who is this Fannie Green?" A new woman in the neighbourhood," the sinner replies. Very well," says the priest. "Go and say ten Hail Mary's." The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his sermon when a gorgeous, tall woman enters the church. All the men's eyes fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down in front of the Altar. Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes. The priest and altar boy gasp as more...

Boyle sat in a Belfast confessional. "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned," he said. "I've blown up three hundred miles of English railroad!" "All right, my son," admonished the priest. "For penance, finish off the stations!"

In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the minister. The minister asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me?
I really have to go to the bathroom and the Widow McGee is coming. She tends to go on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done just give her 10 hail Mary's and I'll be right back."
Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed. Just as expected the Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession. "Oh Father, I fear I have done the unforgivable. I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex." Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation. Surely 10 hail Mary's would not do. So, in a moment of desperation the janitor peered his head out of the confessional and asked an alter boy, "Son, what does the minister give for oral sex?"
In reply the alter boy more...

Boyle sat in a Belfast confessional. "Bless me, irish father, for I have sinned," he said. "I`ve blown up three hundred miles of English railroad!" "All right, my son," admonished the irish priest. "For penance, do the stations!"