Conflict Jokes

Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen.
To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what they're doing they can be ready in two minutes.
Women, on the other hand, are like fire. We're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right to get a real flame going.
Men and women all in all, behave just like our basic sexual elements. If you watch single men on a weekend night they really act very much like sperm - all disorganized, bumping into their friends, swimming in the wrong direction.
"I was first."
"Let me through."
"You're on my tail."
"That's my spot." They're like the Three Billion Stooges.
But the woman is like the egg - very cool: "Well, who's it going to be? I can divide. I can wait a month. I'm not swimming anywhere."

Milk drinkers' behaviors / The Physics of Law...
Not a bunch of goody-goodies, the folks at the California Milk Processor Board want you to think raunchy, think wanton, think naughty, think milk. A survey for June, National Dairy Month, reports hidden milk drinkers' behaviors: When no one is looking, 59 percent of Californians admit to slugging directly from the carton. A sheepish 31 percent have finished the last of the milk and put the empty carton back in the refrigerator. An embarrassed 39 percent report that they have, on occasion, blown milk out their noses. While a co-worker slaves away at his desk, 22 percent have "borrowed" someone else's milk from the office refirgerator. A smug 14 percent say that they have made milk a part of their sex lives. Which leaves 86 percent wondering how the heck they do it. The article continues with....
The Physics of Law...
It's not whether you win or lose, it's where you put your desk. The Association of Defense more...

The following comes from the "Denver Post Wire Services" under the heading of "Dairy board survey hardly depicts Milquetoast image"...
Not a bunch of goody-goodies, the folks at the California Milk Processor Board want you to think raunchy, think wanton, think naughty, think milk. A survey for June, National Dairy Month, reports hidden milk drinkers' behaviors:
When no one is looking, 59 percent of Californians admit to slugging directly from the carton.
A sheepish 31 percent have finished the last of the milk and put the empty carton back in the refrigerator.
An embarrassed 39 percent report that they have, on occasion, blown milk out their noses.
While a co-worker slaves away at his desk, 22 percent have "borrowed" someone else's milk from the office refirgerator.
A smug 14 percent say that they have made milk a part of their sex lives. Which leaves 86 percent wondering how the heck they do it.
The article continues more...