Confused Jokes / Recent Jokes

Questions that have Confused humankind!!
a.. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "
I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
a.. Who was the first person to say "
See that chicken there....I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."
a.. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
a.. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
a.. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
a.. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
a.. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
a.. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
a.. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed more...

Questions that have Confused humankind!!
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there....I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Why more...

Questions that have Confused humankind! a.. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'llsqueeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"a.. Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there....I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."a.. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to ahorrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? a.. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? a.. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? a.. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? a.. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? a.. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? a.. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? a.. Why does more...

Thoughts and stories from on the job

My boss came in one morning and caught me hugging my secretary. He said in a rage, "Is this what you get paid for? " I told him, "Nope! I do this for free."

This same boss was into all this dumb inspirational and motivation stuff too. I remember once he posted a sign which read "Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday." I couldn't resist and added a note: "And now you know why too".

Once I came upon this pretty new temp standing in front of the paper shredder with a confused look on her face. I asked if she needed any help and she said, "Yeah, how does this thing work? " I took the papers from her hand and demonstrated how to work the shredder. She stood there a moment with yet another confused expression, so I said, "Any questions? " She said, "Yeah, exactly where do the copies come out from? "

People always say that hard more...

Q: Why do blondes get confused in the ladies room? A: They have to pull their own pants down.

An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA when the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you?"


The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don`t understand what you mean." The American repeated, What kind of -ese are you?"


Again, the Japanese was confused over the question. The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you. Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese! , etc......??? "


The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese."


A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked: What kind of `kee` are you. The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of `-kee` am I?!"


The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?"

Trucker hauling computers and accessories is driving down the highway late one night when he sees a truck stop on the side of the road. So he decides to pull over. On aproaching the door he read s a sign: "NO NERDS." He shrugs it off and enters. He`s greeted by the end of a shotgun barrel in his face. "Are you a nerd?" the bartender asks.

"No, I`m a truck driver," he replies. He`s allowed to come in, so he orders a cup of coffee, sits at the bar and drinks it.

While he drinks his coffee, a man walks in wearing his pants up to his chest, a plaid shirt, pocket protector and thick-framed glass. The bartender pulls out his shotgun and blows him away.

"What the hell did you do that for!?" asks the trucker.

"Well," the bartender answers, "it`s nerd season."

"Nerd season?" asks the trucker, confused.

"Yeah. See, the nerd population in this town is more...