Confused Jokes / Recent Jokes

Questions that have Confused humankind!!

a.. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

a.. Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there.... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."

a.. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

a.. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

a.. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

a.. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

a.. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

a.. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

a.. Why more...

I'm not confused, I'm just well mixed.

I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.

A man walks into a bar and says, "Give me a beer before problems start!" Again, the man orders a beer again saying, "Give me a beer before problems start!" The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man, "When are you going to pay for these beers?" The man answers, "Ah, now the problems start!"

A ducks walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?" The bartender, confused, tells the ducks that no, his bar doesn't serve grapes. The duck thanks him and leaves. The next day, the duck returns and says, "Got any grapes?" Again, the bartender tells him that, no, the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes, and, furthermore, will never serve grapes. The duck, a little ruffled, thanks him and leaves. The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender begins to yell:' 'Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ever ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!'' The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks,' 'Got any nails?'' Confused, the bartenders says no.' 'Good!'' says the duck.' 'Got any grapes?''

What did the confused bee say? To bee or not to bee!

Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a confused child? Because dad can't keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them. Sent by Nic