Confused Jokes / Recent Jokes

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde went to an ice cream parlor together. The brunette went up and asked for a Dr. Pepper float with no ice cream. The counter man was confused, but gave her a Dr. Pepper float with no ice cream.
The redhead went up and asked for a single dip of vanilla ice cream with Pepsi poured over it. The man was really confused now. But he gave the redhead her order.
The blonde was listening to the other two women and thought that she should have a ''special order'' too. So she went up and asked for an extra-large root beer, but hold the roots.

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde went to an ice cream parlor together. The brunette went up and asked for a Dr. Pepper float with no ice cream. The counter man was confused, but gave her a Dr. Pepper float with no ice cream. The redhead went up and asked for a single dip of vanilla ice cream with Pepsi poured over it. The man was really confused now. But he gave the redhead her order. The blonde was listning to the other two women and thought that she should have a ''special order'' too. So she went up and asked for an extra-large root beer with no roots.

Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, AOL Disks, etc.)
Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a bag, and yell, "Trick or Treat!" Look at them, scratch your head, and act confused.
Fill a briefcase with marbles and crackers. Write on it, "Top Secret" in big letters. When trick-or-treaters come, look around suspiciously, say, "It's about time you got here," give them the briefcase, and quickly shut the door.
Get about 30 people to wait in your living room. When trick-or-treaters come to the door, say, "Come in." When they do, have everyone yell, "Surprise!!!" Act like it's a surprise party.
Get everyone who comes to the door to come in and see if they can figure out what's wrong with your dishwasher. Insist that it makes an unnatural "whirring" sound.
After you give them candy, hand the trick-or-treaters a more...

My boss came in one morning and caught me hugging my secretary. He said in a rage, "Is this what you get paid for? " I told him, "Nope! I do this for free."
This same boss was into all this dumb inspirational and motivation stuff too. I remember once he posted a sign which read "Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday." I couldn't resist and added a note: "And now you know why too".
Once I came upon this pretty new temp standing in front of the paper shredder with a confused look on her face. I asked if she needed any help and she said, "Yeah, how does this thing work? " I took the papers from her hand and demonstrated how to work the shredder. She stood there a moment with yet another confused expression, so I said, "Any questions? " She said, "Yeah, exactly where do the copies come out from? "
People always say that hard work never killed anybody. Oh yeah? ?? When's the last time ya ever more...

"I'm confused," the little boy admitted to his teacher. "I went to church last Sunday and they kept telling me to stand up for Jesus! But then I went to the ballgame, and everyone kept yelling,' For Christ's sake, sit down!'"

Santa Is Very Confused All The Time.........
Banta Curious To Know The Reason, Asks: Why R U Confused?
Santa: I Am Really Perplexed Coz My Sister Has 2 Brothers,
But I Have Only 1!!!!!!!!!

Ten-year-old Johnny rushes home from school. He invades the fridge and is scooping out some cherry vanilla ice cream when his mother enters the kitchen.

She says, "Put that away, Johnny. You can't have ice cream now. It's too close to supper time. Go outside and play."

Johnny whimpers and says, "There's no one to play with."

Trying to placate him, she says, "OK. I'll play with you. What do you want to play?"

He says, "I wanna play Mommy and Daddy." Trying not to register surprise and a bit confused about what her 10-year-old son was learning in school, she decided to appease him, by saying, "Fine, I'll play. What do I do?"

Johnny says, "You go up to the bedroom and lie down." Figuring that she can easily control the situation, Mom goes upstairs. Johnny, feeling a bit cocky, swaggers down the hall and opens the utility closet. He dons his fathers old fishing hat. As he more...