Confused Jokes / Recent Jokes
Did you hear that the Post Office had to recall its series of stamps depicting famous lawyers?
People were confused about which side to spit on.
A trucker hauling computers and accessories is driving down the highway late one night when he sees a truck stop on the side of the road. So he decides to pull over. On aproaching the door he read s a sign: "NO NERDS." He shrugs it off and enters. He's greeted by the end of a shotgun barrel in his face. "Are you a nerd?" the bartender asks. "No, I'm a truck driver," he replies. He's allowed to come in, so he orders a cup of coffee, sits at the bar and drinks it.
While he drinks his coffee, a man walks in wearing his pants up to his chest, a plaid shirt, pocket protector and thick-framed glass. The bartender pulls out his shotgun and blows him away. "What the hell did you do that for!?" asks the trucker. "Well," the bartender answers, "it's nerd season." "Nerd season?" asks the trucker, confused. "Yeah. See, the nerd population in this town is getting out of hand, so we've opened up nerd season." So, more...
One day a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 ft below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, but he had on no scuba gear whatsoever.
The diver went below another 20 ft, but the guy joined him a few minutes later. The diver went below 25 ft, but minutes later, the same guy joined him.
This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalk-and-board set, and wrote, "How the hell are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?"
The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and wrote, "I'M DROWNING, YOU MORON!!!"
It seems this fairly successful businessman in his early 30's was
getting lonely for some companionship. He was comfortably well off, lived in
a nice apartment, had refined tastes, but somehow or other he could never find
the perfect companion. Finally, he had an inspiration.
So our friend strolls into a pet shop and explains his problem to the
sympathetic clerk. The clerk thinks for a moment, then says, "I have the
perfect pet for you, sir," disappears into the back of the shop, and emerges
with
a small cardboard box. The gentleman opens the box, but, instead of finding a
dog or a cat, discovers a frog.
"A frog?" he asks disbelievingly.
"Ah," says the salesman, "but not just any frog. I really think you'll
be surprised with this pet. May I suggest you take it home for a trial. If it
does not meet with your satisfaction, feel free to bring it back within a week
for a full refund."
Well, more...
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife"What type of bra?" asked the clerk."Type?" inquires the man. "There is more than one type?""Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras," replied the salesclerk.Confused, the man asked what the types were.The saleslady replied "The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?"Still confused the man asked, "What is the difference between them?"The lady responded, "It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills." Military
Buying a Bra "A man walked more...
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, one of the largest department store chains. He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said. 'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife'
'What type of bra?' asked the clerk.
'Type?' inquires the man 'There is more than one type?'
'Look Around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size color and material.
'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras,' replied the salesclerk.
Confused, the man asked what were the types.
The saleslady replied 'The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?'
Still confused the man asked 'What is the difference between them?'
The lady responded 'It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills.