Contestant Jokes / Recent Jokes

The game show contestant was only 200 points behind the leader and was about to answer the final question -- worth 500 points!
"To be today's champion," the show's smiling host intoned, "name two of Santa's reindeer."
The contestant, a man in his early thirties, gave a sigh of relief, gratified that he had drawn such an easy question. "Rudolph!" he said confidently, "and. .. Olive!"
The studio audience started to applaud (which the little sign above their heads said to do), but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling. The confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain' Olive'?"
"You know," the man circled his hand forward impatiently and began to sing,
"Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows. *Olive,* the other reindeer...

It was general question time on the "Top of the World" quiz show and the host first asked the Hungarian contestant: "Complete this line of a song and spell your answer - Old MacDonald had a. ..." The Hungarian answered quickly: "Station - S T A T I O N." Next it was the Polish contestant who was asked the same question: "Old MacDonald had a. ..." "Ranch," was the reply, "R A N C H." Finally the Irishman was asked the same question: "Old MacDonald had a...." "Farm," the Irishman proudly stated. "Correct," said the host. "Now spell the word farm." The Irishman thought for a moment. "E I E I O."

Just keep in mind this was on live radio....
On the morning show at WBAM FM in Chicago, IL they call someone at work and ask if they are married or in a serious relationship.
If yes, then this person is asked 3 very personal questions (that vary from couple to couple) and asked for their significant other's name and work phone number. If the significant other answers correctly, then they are winners.
This particular day (12-9-98) it got interesting:
DJ: HEY! This is Edgar on WBAM. Do you know "Mate Match"?
Contestant: (laughing) Yes I do.
DJ: What is your name? First name only please.
Contestant: Brian.
DJ: Are you married or what Brian?
Brian: Yes.
DJ: "Yes"? Does this mean your are "married"? or what?, Brian?
Brian: (laughing nervously) Yes I am married.
DJ: Thank you, Brian. OK, now, what is your wife's name? First only please,
Brian.
Brian: Sara.
DJ: Is Sara at work Brian?
Brian: She is more...

Nancy Reagan is the celebrity contestant on Password. It's her turn to guess the word. Voice Over: And the password is... black dick! Nancy: Um... is it a place? Her partner: No. Nancy: Is it a person? Her partner: No. Nancy: Hmm, then it must be a thing. Um, is it something Imight want to eat? Her partner, exasperated: Well, I dunno, maybe. Nancy: Is it black dick?

On a famous TV game show A BLONDE contestant needed only to answer one more question. One simple question stood between her and ONE MILLION DOLLARS! "To be today's champion," the show's smiling host intoned, "name two of Santa's reindeer." The contestant, gave a sigh of relief, gratified that she had drawn such an easy question. "Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and,. .. Olive!" The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain...' Olive?!?'". "You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."

For the finals of the Australian Cow Milking Championship, an Australian, a German and a Filipino were given 15 minutes each to milk as much as they could from cows assigned to them. After 15 minutes. .. "Australian contestant, how much did you get?" "A gallon," the contestant shouted. Palakpakan. "German contestant, how much?" "A gallon and a half, sir!" Mas masigabong palakpakan. "Filipino contestant, how much did you milk?" "One teaspoon, sir!" Nakabibinging katahimikan."Beg your pardon sir, but. .. they gave me a bull!"

If you want to be America's premier "American Flatulator," you've got to have it... gas, that is. And if you're pumped up for the challenge, you'll have to let yourself go in a series of hilarious, explosive events that are sure to clear the air - and maybe the room - about who's really full of it. The events include:
POWER BALLOON
"American Flatulators" and the challengers face off in a rip-roaring, cheek-to-cheek competition designed to separate the big boomers from the little bags of wind. The object behind POWER BALLOON is that each contestant must fill a heavy gauge balloon with his or her own natural gas until the durable plastic sack becomes too pooped and pops. Each contestant uses their own unique technique to fill 'er up. Winner takes all! No ifs, and or butts.
DON'T PASS THE GAS
This contest demands real endurance. Opponents use giant Q-Tip like pugel sticks (as in Pee UUU) to try and knock the farts out of each other. The winner is the more...