Context Jokes

This is a joke from my pastor about the using the Scriptures out of context...
A man was looking into the Bible for some guidance. Not knowing where to look, he simply opened the Bible randomly and point his finger at a passage. Wherever his finger lands, he will take as advice.
Here's the first: "Judas went out and hanged himself". Not knowing what to make out of that, he tried again.
This time it is: "Go and do likewise." Completely baffled, he tried a third time.
"Whatever you are to do, do so quickly."