Continental Jokes / Recent Jokes

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and
dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called este." "Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it's gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump, the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly, and they're overpriced. So, whatcha' doing when you get there?"
"We're going to go to more...

Dear Sir:
Previous records indicate that you hold shares in the follwing companies: Continental Can Co., Western Water CO., Northern Tissue Co., and Interstate Gas Co.
Because of uncertain market conditions at the time, we recommend that you sit tight on the Continental Can, hold your water, and let your gas go. You will be interested to know that today, Northern Tissue touched a new bottom and thousands were wiped clean.
Yours truly,
Squatt & Leavitt