Contraptions Jokes

by Joe Mullich, AmericanWay Magazine, November 15, 1994
1. Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty's address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of the letterhead and continues to the back. In essence, you have conceded that the first page of any letter you write is letterhead.
2. You have never sat through an entire movie without having at least one device on your body beep or buzz.
3. You need to fill out a form that must be typewritten, but you can't because there isn't one typewriter in your house, only computers with laser printers.
4. You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends," but you forget to send your father a birthday card.
5. You disdain people who use low baud rates.
6. When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers, and you butt in to correct him and spend the more...

1. Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty's address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of the letterhead and continues to the back. In essence, you have conceded that the first page of any letter you write *is* letterhead.
2. You have never sat through an entire movie without having at least one device on your body beep or buzz.
3. You need to fill out a form that must be typewritten, but you can't because there isn't one typewriter in your house - only computers with laser printers.
4. You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends," but you forget to send your father a birthday card.
5. You disdain people who use low baud rates.
6. When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers - and you butt in to correct him and spend the next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while more...

1. Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty's address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of the letterhead and continues to the back. In essence, you have conceded that the first page of any letter you write is letterhead.2. You have never sat through an entire movie without having at least one device on your body beep or buzz.3. You need to fill out a form that must be typewritten, but you can't because there isn't one typewriter in your house, only computers with laser printers.4. You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends," but you forget to send your father a birthday card.5. You disdain people who use low baud rates.6. When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers, and you butt in to correct him and spend the next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while the salesperson stands by more...

You can no longer sit through an entire movie without having at least one device on your body beep or buzz. You have to fill out a form that must be typewritten, but you can't because there isn't one typewriter in your house -- only computers with laser printers.

You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends," but you forget to send your father a birthday card.

When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers -- and you butt in to correct him and spend the next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while the salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head.

You constantly find yourself in groups of people to whom you say the phrase "digital compression." Everyone understands what you mean, and you are not surprised or disappointed that you don't have to explain it.

You stop saying "phone number" and replace it with "voice number," since we all more...

Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty's address book. The
letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and
your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of the letterhead and
continues to the back. In essence, you have conceded that the first page of any
letter you write is letterhead.
You have never sat through an entire movie without having at least one
device on your body beep or buzz.
You need to fill out a form that must be typewritten, but you can't because
there isn't one typewriter in your house - only computers with laser printers.
You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends", but you forget to send
your father a birthday card.
You disdain people who use low baud rates.
When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking
with customers - and you butt in to correct him and spend the next twenty
minutes answering the customers' more...