Salesperson Jokes

John went to a pet store and selected a kind looking dog. He asked the salesperson about the dog's pedigree.
She said the dog came from a very long line of distinguished ancestors. Both its father and grandfather were dogs.
Its mother, she said, was a bitch and its grandmother was a r-e-a-l bitch. John was delighted and said, "Is this dog smart and intelligent?"
"Oh, yes," she said, "this dog is so smart that within a week it would teach your entire family to talk in its language."
John was impressed and asked if the dog was faithful.
The salesperson replied, "I have sold this dog five times and it has always come back."

by Joe Mullich, AmericanWay Magazine, November 15, 1994
1. Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty's address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of the letterhead and continues to the back. In essence, you have conceded that the first page of any letter you write is letterhead.
2. You have never sat through an entire movie without having at least one device on your body beep or buzz.
3. You need to fill out a form that must be typewritten, but you can't because there isn't one typewriter in your house, only computers with laser printers.
4. You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends," but you forget to send your father a birthday card.
5. You disdain people who use low baud rates.
6. When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers, and you butt in to correct him and spend the more...

How can you tell when a salesperson is lying? His lips are moving.

1. Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty's address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of the letterhead and continues to the back. In essence, you have conceded that the first page of any letter you write *is* letterhead.
2. You have never sat through an entire movie without having at least one device on your body beep or buzz.
3. You need to fill out a form that must be typewritten, but you can't because there isn't one typewriter in your house - only computers with laser printers.
4. You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends," but you forget to send your father a birthday card.
5. You disdain people who use low baud rates.
6. When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers - and you butt in to correct him and spend the next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while more...

Customer: How much is that banana for?

Salesperson: $1. 00

Customer: Can you sell it to me for 60 cents?

Salesperson: At that rate, you will only get the banana peel!

Customer: Okay I will buy the banana for 40 cents, but you can keep the peel!