Cookie Jokes / Recent Jokes
It was recess and the pre-schoolers came in. The teacher asked Susie what she did today. ''Well, I played in the sandbox,'' she said. The teacher said, ''If you can spell sand, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie.'' So Susie did.
Then Billy came in and the teacher asked what he did. ''I played in the sandbox with Susie,'' he said. ''If you can spell sand, I'll give you a cookie,'' the teacher said. So Billy did.
Then the little Russian boy said, ''Well, I wanted to play in the sandbox, but Billy and Susie were throwing rocks at me.''
The teacher said, ''Well, that sounds like discrimination. If you can spell that, I'll give you a cookie.''
It was recess and the pre-schoolers came in. The teacher asked Susie what she did today. ''Well, I played in the sandbox,'' she said. The teacher said, ''If you can spell sand, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie.'' So Susie did. Then Billy came in and the teacher asked what he did. ''I played in the sandbox with Susie,'' he said. ''If you can spell sand, I'll give you a cookie,'' the teacher said. So Billy did. Then the little Russian boy said, ''Well, I wanted to play in the sandbox, but Billy and Susie were throwing rocks at me.'' The teacher said, ''Well, that sounds like discrimination. If you can spell that, I'll give you a cookie.''
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Cookie!
Cookie who?
Cookie-n the kitchen, it's easier!
This is a REAL recipe for a rather tasty, but disgusting looking cake.
Ingredients:
1 18. 5-ounce package spice cake mix
1 18. 5-ounce package white cake mix
2 4-serving packages instant vanilla pudding mix
1 12-ounce box vanilla wafer cookies, crushed
6 to 10 Tootsie Rolls
Confectioner's sugar
1 brand-new kitty litter pan
1 brand-new plastic pooper scooper
Green food coloring
Plastic flies (optional)
Prepare the cakes and pudding according to package directions. Crumble the baked cake into the kitty litter pan, then add the pudding and mix. Add a few drops of green food coloring to 1 cup of the cookie crumbs and set aside; mix the rest into the pan. Soften the Tootsie Rolls by placing in the micro- wave for 10 seconds on high and shape to resemble cat droppings. Arrange the Tootsie Rolls on top of the cookie-pudding more...
An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death''s agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite sugar cookies wafting up the stairs.
He gathered enough strength to get out bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom.
With even greater effort, he forced his boney fingers to grab the handrail and he went down the stairs, one stumbling step at a time.
With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death''s agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven.
There, on the kitchen table, spread out in rows upon wax paper, were literally hundreds of his favorite sugar cookies.
Was it heaven? Or, was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife of 60 years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
Mustering one great final effort, he lunged toward the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture.
His parched more...
A blind man is walking down the street with his seeing-eye dog one day. They come to a busy intersection, and the dog, ignoring the high volume of traffic zooming by on the street, leads the blind man right out into the thick of traffic. This is followed by the screech of tires and horns blaring as panicked drivers try desperately not to run the pair down.
The blind man and the dog finally reach the safety of the sidewalk on the other side of the street, and the blind man pulls a cookie out of his coat pocket, which he offers to the dog. A passerby, having observed the near fatal incident, can't control his amazement and says to the blind man, "Why on earth are you rewarding your dog with a cookie? He nearly got you killed!"
The blind man turns partially in his direction and replies, "To find out where his head is, so I can kick his ass."