Cork Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man was digging in his garden, when his shovel hit a hard object buried in the earth, which revealed itself to be an old bottle sealed with a cork. The man wrenched the cork free and, to his astonishment, there was a cloud of smoke and a clap of thunder. Standing before him was a genie.
"As a reward for freeing me, I shall grant you three wishes," said the genie, "But understand, whatever you wish for, your most hated enemy shall receive twice over."
The man's most hated enemy happened to be his next door neighbour, Jones. "Let's see. My first wish is..." He looked at his weather beaten bungalow, "...to live in a ten story luxury mansion."
The genie clapped his hands and suddenly his minute shack transformed into the most beautiful house he had ever laid eyes on. He heard a cry of astonishment from next door and looked over to see Jones standing in the doorway of his new twenty story mansion.
"Now I want fifty of the most more...
A man was digging in his garden, when his shovel hit a hard object buried in the earth, which revealed itself to be an old bottle sealed with a cork. The man wrenched the cork free and, to his astonishment, there was a cloud of smoke and a clap of thunder. Standing before him was a genie."As a reward for freeing me, I shall grant you three wishes," said the genie, "But understand, whatever you wish for, your most hated enemy shall receive twice over."The man's most hated enemy happened to be his next door neighbour, Jones. "Let's see. My first wish is..." He looked at his weather beaten bungalow, "...to live in a ten story luxury mansion."The genie clapped his hands and suddenly his minute shack transformed into the most beautiful house he had ever laid eyes on. He heard a cry of astonishment from next door and looked over to see Jones standing in the doorway of his new twenty story mansion."Now I want fifty of the most beautiful women more...
Three scientists were one day discussing what would happen if they rammed a cork up an elephant’s backside and force fed it for 2 weeks. But because the experiment had never been documented and the idea was hard to comprehend they decided to have a go.
A week after the experiment had started they began to realize WHY the idea had never been tried: they were stuck for someone to pull the cork out.
One of the scientists came up with the bright idea of training a monkey to do the job, so they spent the next week training it to pull out corks once a buzzer had rung, then push it back in for another go. When the big day arrived they set up all the monitoring equipment and moved out to a safe distance.
The first scientist went 1 mile away, the second went 2 miles away and the third went 3 miles. When they were all ready the first scientist pushed the button to sound the buzzer. BBBAAANNNGGG!!!!!!!
The third scientist (3 miles away) was up to his ankles in shit, the more...
There were two teenagers and they just got thru playing basketball. So they went to the showerhouse.
They were in the showerhouse and the first teenager noticed a cork up the other teenagers butt. So when they got out of the showerhouse, the first teenager ask why he had a cork up his butt?
The other teenager said, "Well, I was at the beach and a fairy said she could grant me one wish", and in amazement I said - "No CRAP!"
There were two teenagers and they just got thru playing basketball. So they went to the showerhouse.They were in the showerhouse and the first teenager noticed a cork up the other teenagers butt. So when they got out of the showerhouse, the first teenager ask why he had a cork up his butt? The other teenager said, "Well, I was at the beach and a fairy said she could grant me one wish", and in amazement I said - "No CRAP!"