Corny Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two boys go out on a walk. One looks down and said, "look at those, those are deer tracks my dad told me about them."

The second boy says no those are elk tracks, my dad told me about them.

Then the first boy says, "No those are deer tracks."

The second boy says, "NO those are elk tracks."

One hour later they were run over by a train.

Q: Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself? A: Because it is too tired.

"Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud." "Yes sir, it's fresh ground."

Two molecules are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?"
"No, I lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive!"

One day three guys were driving in the middle of nowhere when their car broke down. They got out and looked around at their surroundings. Finally, the first guy says, "I'm gonna go look for some food." The other two guys say, "Why?". "So we can eat of course." says the first guy. Once the first guy comes back the second guy says, "I'm going to go get some water". "Why" asked the other two. "So we can drink it if we get thirsty of course". Once the second guy gets back the third guy goes and tears off the car door. "What's that for?" asked the other two. " In case we get hot we can roll down the window."

Q: What did the deaf blind dumb mute orphan get for Christmas?
A: Cancer!

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces:
"I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."