Counselor Jokes / Recent Jokes

Magnussen goes to a marriage counselor and says, "My wife isn't as much fun as she used to be."The marriage counselor says, "Do you still enjoy a roll in the hay?"Magnussen says, "As much as the next fellow."The counselor says, "Maybe between you and the next fellow, she's exhausted."

The Counselor was talking to the campers about safety. She said' Don't climb any trees. If you fall down and break a leg, don't come running to me!'

The head Counselor gathered all the campers together. To get their attention, the Counselor called out,' Order! Order!' In a flash someone shouted out,' Hamburger, coke and fries!'

This guy has problems so he goes to a counselor. The counselor askes "What's wrong?" And the man replies,"God is my friend. Whenever I get up to got to the bathroom he turns the light on, And whenever I go back to bed he turns the light off." The counselor found this very suspicious so he went to the guy's wife and tells her what he said. And his wife replied, "That idiot, he won't stop peeing in the refriderator.

One day a couple visited a marriage counselor about their children. The wife says to the marriage counselor "the only reason we are married because neither of us want custody of the children"

A couple was having some trouble, so they did the right thing and went to a marriage counselor. After a few visits, and a lot of questioning and listening, the counselor said that he had discovered the main problem. He stood up, went over to the woman, asked her to stand, and gave her a hug. He looked at the man and said, "This is what your wife needs, at least once a day!" The man frowned, thought for a moment, then said, "OK, what time do you want me to bring her back tomorrow?"

A couple was having marital difficulties and consulted a marriage counselor. After meeting with them, the counselor told them that their problems could all be traced to a lack of communication. "You two need to talk," he said. "So, I recommend that you go to a jazz club. Just wait until it's time for the bass player to solo. Then you'll be talking just like everyone else."