Counter Jokes / Recent Jokes

A retired gentlemen went into the social security office to apply for Social Security. After waiting in line a long time, he got to the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his drivers license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home.
He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "Will I have to go home and come back now?" he asks.
The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt." So he opens his shirt revealing lost of curly silver hair.
She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me." and she processes his Social Security application.
When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the Social Security office.
She said, "You should have dropped your pants, you might have qualified for disability, too."

Two blondes were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching the town of Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one blonde asked the manager, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are, …very slowly? ”
The manager leaned over the counter and said,
“Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing. ”

This indian walks into a little country Ma & Pop store and ask the old
man behind the counter for some toilet paper. The old man explains
that there are three kinds they carry.... Charmin, Northern and No Name
toilet paper.
The indian is confused by the toilet paper not having a name, but buys
it anyway since it IS cheaper.
About a week goes by and the indian shows back up in the store and
throws the remaining rolls on the counter and exclaims: "I have a name
for this here no na me toilet paper. John Wayne"
The store keeper is confused and asks why.
The indian explains, "It's rough, it's tough and it takes no shit off
indian".

There was a man, who walked into a small Chinatown shop to look around.
He saw a golden rat, and asked the oriental behind the counter how much it
cost.
"Golden Rat, one hundred dollar. Story behind Golden Rat three
hundred dollar."
The man decided just to buy the Golden Rat, so he pays
for it and leaves.
A rat that was in the shop follows him out, as does a
rat in the alley outside. Before he's walked a street away, he's being
followed by ten rats, then a hundred, then a thousand. The man starts to
panic, and starts running away, while more and more rats follow him. He
ran right across the town, and got himself trapped by the sea. He
hesitated for a second, then dives off the wharf and starts swimming.
Looking back, he saw that the rats were still following him, but the
second they hit the water, they turned to stone and sank. About fifteen
minutes later (well, it takes a while to kill ten thousand rats), the more...

This old guy wobbles into an ice cream shop.
He has a hard time walking. He is hunched over.
He goes up to the counter and says, "Banana Split, please."
The lady at the counter replies, "Crushed nuts?"
The old man says, "No, Arthritis!"

This old guy wobbles into an ice cream shop.
He has a hard time walking. He is hunched over.

He goes up to the counter and says, "Banana Split, please."

The lady at the counter replies, "Crushed nuts?"

The old man says, "No, Arthritis!"

This old guy wobbles into an ice cream shop.He has a hard time walking. He is hunched over.He goes up to the counter and says, "Banana Split, please."The lady at the counter replies, "Crushed nuts?"The old man says, "No, Arthritis!"