Cowboy Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales begins.
The first says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground, by the horns, with my bare hands."
The second can't stand to be bested. "Why that's nothing. I was walking down the trail yesterday and a fifteen foot rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bit its head off, and sucked the poison down in one gulp. And I'm still here today."
The third cowboy remained silent, slowly stirring the coals with his penis.

A man walked into a cowboy bar and ordered a beer just as President Clinton appeared on the television. After a few sips, he looked up at the television and mumbled, "Now, there's the biggest horse's ass I've ever seen." A customer at the end of the bar quickly stood up, walked over to him, and decked him.A few minutes later, as the man was finishing his beer, Hillary Clinton appeared on the television. "She's a horse's ass too," the man said. This time, a customer at the other end of the bar quickly stood up, walked over to him, and knocked him off his stool. "Damn it!" the man said, climbing back up to the bar. "This must be Clinton country!""Nope," the bartender replied. "Horse country!"

A ventriloquist cowboy walks into town and sees an Indian sitting on his porch. He figures he'll have a little fun... Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?" Indian: "Dog no talk." Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?" Dog: "Doin' alright." Indian: shows extreme look of shock Cowboy: "Is this Indian your owner?" pointing at Indian. Dog: "Yep" Cowboy: "How does he treat you?" Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play." Indian: shows look of disbelief Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?" Indian: "Horse no talk." Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?" Horse: "Cool." Indian: extreme look of shock Cowboy: "Is this your owner? "pointing at Indian. Horse: "Yep." Cowboy: "How's he treat you?" Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me more...

Back in the turn of the century in a mining town out west, a woman walked into a saloon. Suddenly she realised that she was not in the general store so she started to turn around and leave. As she was doing this, a drunk cowboy seated at the bar noticed her and said to the woman, "Come on over, Ma'am, sit yerself down right here next to me and have yerself a drink.
"Thank you kindly Sir, but I'm afraid that I couldn't," replied the woman, "on account that I need to get bread."
The cowboy replied, "Uh, Ma'am, I do reckon you came to the right place for that!"

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer.After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said "Who owns the big white horse outside?"The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, "I do... Why?"The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you'd like to know that your horse is about dead outside!"The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better.The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better."Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe" and took off running circles around Silver.Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink. A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, more...

One Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present.
The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach.
The cowboy said, "I'm not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I'd feed him."
So the minister began his sermon.
One hour passed, then two hours, then two-and-a-half hours. The preacher finally finished and came down to ask the cowboy how he liked the sermon.
The cowboy answered slowly, "Well, I'm not very smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I sure wouldn't feed him all the hay."

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, "Who owns the big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, "I do. Why?"
The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you would like to know that your horse is just about dead outside!" The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and, sure enough, Silver was exhausted. The Lone Ranger got him some water and made him drink it, and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better.
The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better."
Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe", and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink.
A few minutes later, more...