Crackers Jokes / Recent Jokes

Patient: Doctor, you've got to help me. Every night I get the uncontrollable urge to go downstairs and stick my dick into the biscuit tin. Do you know what's wrong with me?
Doctor: Yes... You're fucking crackers!

Patient: Doctor, you've got to help me. Every night I get the uncontrollable urge to go downstairs and stick my dick into the biscuit tin. Do you know what's wrong with me? Doctor: Yes... You're fucking crackers!

Taking a few crumbs to Tashlich from whatever old bread is in the house lacks subtlety, nuance and religious sensitivity. Instead, this coming Rosh Hashanah consider these options:
For ordinary sins, use White Bread
For exotic sins, French Bread
For particularly dark sins, Pumpernickel
For complex sins, Multi-grain
For twisted sins, Pretzels
For tasteless sins, Rice Cakes
For sins of indecision, Waffles
For sins committed in haste, Matzah
For sins committed in less than eighteen minutes, Shmurah Matzah
For sins of chutzpah, Fresh Bread
For substance abuse, Poppy Seed
For committing arson, Toast
For committing auto theft, Caraway
For being ill tempered, Sourdough
For silliness, Nut Bread
For not giving full value, Shortbread
For jingoism, Yankee Doodles
For excessive use of irony, Rye Bread
For telling bad jokes, Corn Bread
For hardening our hearts, Jelly doughnuts
For being money hungry, Enriched Bread more...

A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table."What are you doing?" his mother asked."The box says not to eat them if the seal is broken" the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal."

When the mother returned from the grocery store, her small son pulled out the box of animal crackers he had begged for. Then, he spread the animal-shaped crackers all over the kitchen counter."What are you doing?" his Mom asked."The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal."