Cracks Jokes / Recent Jokes
If Jimmy cracks corn, and no one cares, why is there a song about it?
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink? ” The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.
After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, “If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening? ” The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat’s music.
While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him more...
Wisconsin -- A man who drank 13 cocktails then tripped on his way out of a golf course bar, sued the gold course and was awarded $41,000 because there were cracks in the sidewalk. (No word if he'll use it for a down payment on his bar tab.
Hollywood, CA - Road-comedian Billy Spado, 43, raised the standup comedy bar to staggering new heights on Tuesday at Hollywood's own The Comedy Store with brilliantly hilarious cracks about the US-Mexican border, as well as Britney Spears recent performance at the VMA awards show. Spado's unique style of observational humor left the 90-person audience breathless from laughter.
"Bush should build a wall along the Mexican border to keep out illegal immigrants. And you know who's gonna build that wall? The illegal Mexican immigrants, that's who!" Spado exclaimed to a cheering crowd.
Spado's crack about Spears' VMA performance was a stunningly brilliant sight gag that we can't really put into words, but trust us, it absolutely slaughtered the crowd.
Spado will be here all week.
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, and then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.
After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, which begins to sing along with the rat's music.
While the man is enjoying his free drinks, a stranger confronts him more...
It's Friday afternoon and the boss calls his salesman into the office and says that today they could close the big deal he's been working on. But it means the salesman must drive to Birmingham immediately.
Feeling lucky, the salesman immediately jumps in his car an sets of up the M1. He's making very good progress when, all of a sudden, his car breaks down. After having a look, he can see he will need assistance.
He tries the emergency phone - but it's broken. Then he attempts to flag down a passing motorist, but being Friday, they don't care and keep screaming past in their efforts to get home for the weekend.
So he sets of over the fields for help. After a while he comes across a high security double fence in the middle of know where, which he is forced to go around. There are 'Keep Out' and 'Government Property' signs everywhere and guard dogs between the fences.
Shortly he arrives at the entrance gate to the establishment. He asks the guard if he can use the phone. more...