Blues Jokes

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.
After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat's music.
While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers more...

COMPUTER BLUES

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After troubleshooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels.
4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.
5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close more...

The Information Highway Blues

My baby`s got my 486.
My cellular phone`s on the blink.
My fax`s gone off to fax heaven,
And Pay For View stinks.
I got the blues, I got the Information Highway bluuuuues.
I got the bluuuuues, I got the Information Highway blues.
I lost my account on the Internet.
My email`s been revoked.
My modem`s stuck at 300 baud,
And my terminal just blinks.
I got the blues, I got the Information Highway bluuuuues.
I got the bluuuuues, I got the Information Highway blues.
My head spins from Virtual Reality.
I don`t have Video on demand.
I can`t read my Personal Newspaper,
And Shop At Home has kinks.
I missed the on-ramp, to the Information Highway bluuuues.
I missed the onnnn-ramp, to the Information Highway blues.
Jack "Blues" Jung, Toronto, September 1994.

The Information Highway BluesMy baby's got my 486. My cellular phone's on the blink. My fax's gone off to fax heaven, And Pay For View stinks. I got the blues, I got the Information Highway bluuuuues. I got the bluuuuues, I got the Information Highway blues. I lost my account on the Internet. My email's been revoked. My modem's stuck at 300 baud, And my terminal just blinks. I got the blues, I got the Information Highway bluuuuues . I got the bluuuuues, I got the Information Highway blues. My head spins from Virtual Reality. I don't have Video on demand. I can't read my Personal Newspaper, And Shop At Home has kinks. I missed the on-ramp, to the Information Highway bluuuues. I missed the onnnn-ramp, to the Information Highway blues. Jack "Blues" Jung, Toronto, September 1994.

Q: How many blues musicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to go to Chicago because there might be a lightbulb there and the other to play harp.

Q: How many blues musicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Five. One to screw in the lightbulb, and four to play sad, blue songs about the old, wornout lightbulb.

Q: How many CD player users does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but the old bulb keeps getting stustustustustustustustustustuck

Q: How many LP player users does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but the old bulb keeps getting stuck... getting stuck... getting stuck...

Q: How many comp. sys. intel readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 0. 999999875

Q: How many Macintosh engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None - it has to be done by a local authorized dealer.

Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light more...