Cricketer Jokes

A cricket enthusiast died and went to hell. After a few days, the Devil came up to him and said,' What do you feel like doing today? You can have anything you like.'

'Well,' said the cricketer, I can't think of nothing better than a game of cricket. Can we do that?'

'Certainly,' said the Devil, and off they went to get changed. They arrived at a beautiful pitch, and the batsman in his new gear took up a stance. Nothing happpened.

'Come on then,' he said to the Devil,' bowl the first ball.'

'Ah, that's the Hell of it,' said the Devil.' We haven't got any balls.'

A distraught woman rushed into a Police Station claiming she had been raped.

The Desk Sergeant calmed her down and asked her to provide details. She
told him that it was a man of average height dressed in white and that he
was wearing protective pads on his legs and forearms, additionally he
had on a helmet and gloves.

"That sounds as if the man was a cricketer" observed the policeman.

"Oh yes he was" replied the woman, "and what's more he was an Englishman".

"I suppose you guessed that because of his accent " said the Sergeant.

"No" the woman said, "it was because he didn't stay in very long."

A cricket enthusiast died and went to hell. After a few days, the Devil came up to him and said,' What do you feel like doing today? You can have anything you like.'
'Well,' said the cricketer, I can't think of nothing better than a game of cricket. Can we do that?'
'Certainly,' said the Devil, and off they went to get changed. They arrived at a beautiful pitch, and the batsman in his new gear took up a stance. Nothing happpened.
'Come on then,' he said to the Devil,' bowl the first ball.'
'Ah, that's the Hell of it,' said the Devil.' We haven't got any balls.'

The famous cricketer was talking to a little old lady he met on the train. He told her he was a cricketer and asked if she ever watched the game of cricket.

'Cricket?' she exclaimed.

'Oh dear me no, I don't know anything about it. I bet I couldn't tell one end of an umpire from the other!'

The cricketer had been forced to go to the opera by his wife and her friends.

A team mate asked him,' What was it about?'

'I don't know,' admitted the cricketer.' I was asleep for the first two innings!'