Criminal Jokes / Recent Jokes
Judge: Tell me your occupation. Prisoner; Im a locksmith, Your Honour. Judge: Then what were you doing in a jewellery shop in the middle of the night when the police saw you? Prisoner; Making a bolt for the door!
Victim (to mugger): But my watch isn't any good, it only has sentimental value. Mugger: That's all right. I'm sentimental.
Criminal: Why don't you hire these twins for the robbery, boss? Criminal Boss: I'm afraid of a double-cross.
The warden, addressing the three instigators of a failed prison riot, said,
"I would like to know two things.First: Why did you revolt?Second: How did you get out of your cell?"One of the three men stepped forward, "Warden, we rebelled because the food is awful.""I see. And what did you use to break the bars?" the warden asked.Replied the spokesman, "French Toast..."
Detective: Do you think I should put on the cuffs? Criminal: Why? You look good in short sleeves.
Detective: How did you get into counterfeiting? Criminal: I answered an ad that said, "Make money at home."